Stuck in the Illusion Called Us [Siegfrid & Eleanour]

Wakas

Wakas
Siegfrid Van Allejo

“Siegfrid!”

I extended my arms across the table, took a deep breath, and slowly looked up, watched the woman with her elegantly curled brown hair and classic red lipstick as she approached my table.

I could easily recognized her—beauty and movements, the girl I had fallen in love with many years ago.

Sipping at my coffee, she waved her hand at me, a bright smile pasted on her lying lips. Impatiently, I waited for her to sit in the chair across from mine and almost spat out the coffee, realizing the wind had already turned my drink cold.

I took a deep breath and released the cup, entirely losing my appetite as a sense of unease washed over me, not from the thrill of seeing her, but from the profound guilt for the other.

As seconds passed by that I was here and not with Eleanour, I was beginning to doubt the idea if meeting with Senna again was the right decision. Perhaps, I should not have associated myself with her to begin with. I was only seeing her today with the intention of cutting the ties—not that there was still any—binding me to her and returned to the woman I truly love before it reached a point of no return.

What a fool was I to let my anger override my love for Eleanour?

Mom was right.

I shut my eyes tightly as I recalled the conversation we had yesterday, a talk that knocked me to my senses, a wake up call to my foolishness and nonsense.

“Your dad and I are really sorry for not being upfront about your child, son, but at that time, Elie wanted to keep it from you and we respected her decision, and we also felt it was not our place to tell that sensitive thing to you. And while Elie may have made a mistake of not informing you about your child, she as well was dealing with her own pain. Your son passed away due to a heart complication, likely inherited from me as we have a family history of heart diseases. Hindi niya kasalanan na nawala ang anak ninyo. She was also just a victim of unfortunate circumstances, Siegfrid,” Mom explained to me.

“But how about me? I lost a child I will never get the chance to meet!” I raged. But more than that, the thought of her dealing with that lost alone was eating up my conscience. She did not give me the chance to be with her during that tough time of her life, all because she chose to believe the words of other people than mine! She stole the life and family we could have had!

Humawak si Mommy sa nakakamao kong kamay, gayundin si Daddy na humawak naman sa balikat ko na bahagyang nagpahinahon sa nararamdaman ko.