How Far I'll Go

Chapter 2

I stare at her and just wonder if she knew I did the same thing. She asks what's wrong with me. I say nothings wrong beautiful. She starts to cry. I say princess don't cry.

She says I'm not a princess. I'm not beautiful. I don't deserve someone in my life as handsome and nice as you.

I simply say believe what you want. But I'll always believe your the most beautiful woman I have ever meet. Your my best friend. You make me feel complete. Without you I'm nobody. It means the world to me the little time we do have to talk. I think I may be falling.

Falling for you. Falling for you perfection. Falling for everything about you. Falling in love with you.

I look into her beautiful eyes and she says she has to go. I simply reply I understand bye.

I go to my bathroom and look at my reflection. My face is red from crying. I wash my face real fast and put a fake smile on.

I walk back into my room and my mother is sitting on my bed. I look at my mom and say hey mom. My mom looks at me and asks is everything alright with you. I say yes mother why. My mother gets up and hugs me and says just wondering sweetie and leaves my room.

I grab plunta and go to my bathroom and lock the door. I look into the mirror again and think if I do this she will never know.

I grab my razor and look at it. I thought to myself if only u could talk. I look at my wrist and whisper just like she said when your drowning, you need saving. You need relief

I bring the blade across the flesh on my wrist and feel immediate relief. I cut myself two more times and put the blade down. It felt so good to cut again but at the same time it felt so wrong and bad.

I wash off my wrist and pray for forgiveness. I pray for her. I pray for her to stop cutting. I pray for her to realize she's beautiful.

I hide plunta under my bed and walk to the kitchen to get me a bottle of water. Once inside my room I drink my water and pass out.

When I wake up I feel something wet on my bed I lean up and see my cuts are bleeding. I grab my pillow and throw it away in the trash and run to the bathroom to wash my wrist.

I wash my wrist and realized I had cut deeper then I thought. My mother comes into my room and asks are you alright. I replied yes mother. She opens the bathroom door and stands there in shock.

She asks how long have you been doing this. I look down at the floor and say for about 3 years. She looks at me and whispers wait a second. She walks out of my room and comes back a second later.

Here she says and hands me a rubber band. I ask what is this for. She says put it on your wrist. I put it on my uncut wrist and my mother says the other wrist i take the rubber band off my right wrist and put it on my left.

My mother hugs me and starts to cry she looks at me and says promise me you won't do it again. I look at my mother tears forming in my eyes and whisper if I promise you, I'll just break it sooner or later.

She starts to cry more and says if u feel like cutting again promise me to pop your wrist with the rubber band. I look into my mothers eyes and say I promise you that.

My mother look down at my wrist and looks disappointed in me. She raises her sleeve and I see a rubber band just like mine. She turns her wrist over and i'm shocked to see where my mother has cut before.

I look at my mother and say I didn't know. She says u didn't need to know because I didn't need you to do it to yourself. I hug my mother and say I love you mother. My mother says I love you to and walks out of my room.

I walk into my room and laid on my bed. I got on plunta and video call her. She answers right away and says hey. I say hey beautiful. She asks whats wrong. I replied nothing why princess.

She has a worried look on her face and ask have you been crying. I rub my eyes and lie. I say no i just woke up and i washed my face. She says ok but I think she can see right through my lie.

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