This Must Be Something

uncertainty

They reached Camelot just before the sunset next day. Most of the time Merlin had been unconscious, and the few times he had come round his friend coughed so much blood that Arthur feared he would bleed out right there.

Once he left the poor horse with the stableboy, Arthur carried Merlin directly to Gaius' chambers. He hoped that the physician knew what to do, because he had run out of possibilities of what could possibly be wrong with his servant.

"Gaius, quickly, you have to help me!" Arthur blurted out as soon as he crossed the door. The old man raised his eyes from some book he was reading when the prince came in. His expression when he saw Merlin would have been comical if it weren't for the fact that Merlin's life was in danger.

Gaius rushed to clean the table while Arthur placed Merlin gently on it. The physician proceeded to examine him, but after a few moments his face changed and Arthur recognised the look of understanding that crossed his expression.

"Gaius, what-" was Arthur's attempt to know what was happening, but Gaius didn't let him finish. "Please, you need to leave, sire. I fear Merlin doesn't have much time left and I need total concentration."

Arthur frowned. "Let me stay, I'll help," he refused to go. The prince wouldn't lose sight of Merlin, not after all they had gone through.

"I'm afraid that won't be possible, sire."

"That's not-" Arthur complained, but Gaius shoved him off the room and he was left staring at a wooden door like an idiot. "Dammit," he cursed. Why in the name of God couldn't he be there? But then it occurred to him that it might be because of Merlin's supposedly secret magic. Come to think about it, Gaius obviously knew and was probably trying to cover his young apprentice.

Cursing some more, Arthur made his way back to his chambers. He walked across a few castle servants, and they casted a glance at him, alarmed by his swearing, but none of them dared to say anything.

Once he was safely alone, the door locked, he let out a frustrated sigh and lied down sprawled atop the bed. He hadn't had quite enough time to process everything. Merlin's magic was like a stubborn fly that didn't let him clear his mind. All those years they had known each other, and now everything seemed fake. An illusion.

Arthur rubbed his eyes. Maybe not all their friendship was a lie, he thought. Yes, he had lied and they would have to have some serious conversation about all that, but he could understand why Merlin had hidden it. After all, magic was illegal in Camelot, and if someone had found out about Merlin, Uther would have executed him without second thoughts.

A sudden wave of rage ran through Arthur. He admitted that he wasn't particularly magic-friendly, but his father was far too cruel and closed-minded for his liking. Arthur didn't believe that all magic was evil, and Merlin himself was a living proof of that.

He wondered how many times Merlin had used his magic without him realising it. Now that he was thinking about that, all those times they had a narrow escape made much more sense, knowing that Merlin had magic.

Just like this time, a bittersweet voice said inside Arthur's head. He couldn't get the image of Merlin falling to the ground out of his head. It had been taunting him since the battle. Arthur didn't understand why he hadn't used magic instead of intercepting the spell himself. But then, it was probably because he didn't want to draw attention to him. And if it hadn't been for Merlin, he was sure he would have died. Or rather he would have been dead a million times over.

Exasperated, Arthur got up and paced around his chambers. It wouldn't do him any good to stay there. He needed to see Merlin. Needed to make sure his friend was alright. Or, at least, that he would be alright.

Resolutely, he changed into clean clothes and returned to Gaius' workshop. Arthur found Gaius asleep by Merlin's side, who was paler than ever. He approached him slowly, fearing what he would found. When he was close enough, he reached out to caress Merlin's brow, and was relieved to see he was still alive.

"Sire..." The sudden noise startled Arthur, who hadn't noticed Gaius had awakened. "Yes, Gaius?" He wanted to know what was happening there, and he wouldn't leave without an explanation.

"I'm sorry but... I can't do anything for Merlin," he explained painfully. "He was hit by an spell that goes beyond my knowledge of magic."

Arthur stared at him in disbelief. He couldn't wrap his head around the whole situation. "Are you telling me that-" but he couldn't finish the sentence. Arthur was paralysed, he felt the panic spreading all over his body and suddenly breathing wasn't quite as easy as it had always seemed.

"Our only hope is that he fights it, let's hope he's strong enough," Gaius explained. "In my opinion, if anybody can overcome this, it is Merlin without doubt."

Arthur nodded, but he wasn't really listening. The only dammed thing they could do was wait and see if Merlin recovered all by himself. He had never ever felt as impotent as in that moment.

"Well, Arthur, I need to go and collect some herbs, I trust you'll take good care of Merlin while I'm gone." Arthur nodded again, unable to bring himself to speak. When Gaius closed the door, he kneeled down beside the cot where Merlin was lying and wrapped his hands around Merlin's.

"Hey, hopeless excuse of a servant," something made Arthur start speaking, and now he couldn't stop. "You'd better get well, you dolt, because we've got some talking to do, and you're not getting away with it."

Merlin didn't react at all. Well, it would take time, Arthur tried to convince himself. He wouldn't give his friend up. But then an expression of pain crossed the warlock's face and Arthur didn't think anymore. The idiot was unconscious, but he was suffering too much. It broke his heart to see Merlin like that. He couldn't bear it. Having the feeling that his eyes had watered a bit, he grabbed a chair and got ready to spend as much time as it was necessary to have Merlin recovered.