I Love You, You Love Her

Priority

Never have I imagined that I would pursue this kind of path in my life. All the sacrifices I had to make in order to achieve my dream of becoming a doctor.

But way before I even reached this point in life, I once fell in love as a medical student wherein I wake up early for an exam, sleep late due to studying nd assignments to finish, and spending all my free time in the hospital to finish all my duties.

He was there to support me, to love me, achieve all my dreams with him by my side. But no matter how much effort I had to make in order to fulfill my duty to him was never enough for me and he never asked for more knowing I had a lot on my plate.

But I knew he wanted more, he needed more and I know I don't deserve his love for I can't guarantee that I can reciprocate what he has been giving me since I can't really set aside my studies for a while because it also demands time and attention.

I knew somewhere, somehow, something would probably change when he's had enough if this kind of relationship wherein it's hard for me to compromise. But I do really love him, I promise to fulfill everything I lacked in this relationship once I finish school in a year or so.

I was right.

Sooner he went from cold to no communication at all. He thought I wasn't paying attention to all his excuses whenever we plan to meet. I accepted all these because maybe he just needs a time off. A breather. Maybe a time away from me and this complicated life, space.

I busied myself in school just to forget the fact that my boyfriend isn't even talking to me for a while now.

Until my friends confronted me of him cheating. I saw proof. I wanted to cry, be angry, go to him and beg him why.

But I didn't.

I know I was at fault to. I neglected him and focused on my studies. I didn't give him enough of my time. But I love him dearly, I really do. I know he loves me too, maybe he did. I saw that.

A week after knowing about his affair he called me. He never knew I knew about it. I was ready whenever he was ready to let me go. But I just wanna say sorry for all those times that I didn't get to spend with him whenever he wanted us to. All those birthdays, valentines, anniversaries, and all those other occasions. But I never regretted I met him, loved him, and cherished him with all I can.

We met at this coffee shop near our campus. I was really walking fast, half running because I was already a bit late. I was still carrying a pile of books I had to read about and dam* it was so difficult to be walking a little bit faster in this situation.

By the time I reached the café, I scanned the area and found him sitting in a far corner looking out the window, deep in thought. I immediately went to his table and sat in front of him.

"Sorry I'm late. I got held up in our last class." I told him. He smiled at me told me it was okay and asked me if I wanted to order a drink.

I told him I was fine and didn't need one. But really it felt the other way, I was not fine when he cheated. But now that he's right here in front of me, I'm not fine because he lost that twinkle in his eyes.

In the end, he confessed everything to me. How he liked this other girl but in the end left him since that girl was already with someone else. He's sorry for what he has done.

I ended up crying as he asked for forgiveness.

"No, I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." was all I said over and over again to him as all of my tears are sliding down my face. He tried wiping them but I just kept on crying and saying sorry for all the neglecting I did, all my faults and priorities at hand.

He wanted us to start over again but he  knew he didn't deserve me because of what he has done.

But I forgave him. Not because I was at fault too, but because I love him, I still do.

I don't wanna regret for this chance if I didn't take it. Because even though he has hurt me already, I would probably end up hurting a lot more if I let him go because God knows how much I love him.

Hopefully this would be a start of forever? I guess.