I Love You, You Love Her

Mr. Not So Nice Guy

We were introduced few years ago.

It was just a random day, me and my best friend were filing our enrollment and just so excited for the new school year ahead of us.

Until he came. I never really knew him. Maybe just his name. How he and my best friend were cousins. Nothing really more than that.

Well yeah we interacted a few times but nothing really more than academically inclined topics.

When I flew to a different city a year ago, he would sometimes message me of how was my life here and was I having fun.

Until a few months ago, he sent me a message at 2am saying he would probably follow me to where I was at the moment. I just thought maybe he was bluffing since he was a known to never walk his talk and we're barely even friends. So why bother?

But when I went home for the summer, then and there I got a confirmation that he was indeed serious with that decision.

We met up after quite a long of not seeing each other and damn who was the person I was chatting a few months ago?! Like yes maybe he was cocky like most guys I met but HE WAS COCKY AND TOTALLY ON ANOTHER LEVEL.

I always talked to my best friend on anything that's happening on my life and one thing's for sure his cousin was a next level asshole. When I thought he was such a nice guy like his cousin, but no he was more than that!

But as I got to know him more when he moved to this new city with me, he's not just an asshole but also a soft little boy inside.

We'd always take our weekend trips to buy groceries which would last for at least three whole hours just because of our usual banters. 

He's an impulsive buyer, while I was there more logical being between us two.

He can't eat by himself. He would always want to share his food with someone. From breakfast till dinner if time would permit and if he's quite comfortable, it's a night long chat full of his life stories. Lastly, he's never a morning person. Morning is his most cranky time of the day.

But I knew despite all that cocky facade of his, he's just a guy who's lonely and misses home. He craves loyalty. But in exchange of that, he can't commit to people.

He's complicated. A difficult puzzle to solve. An abstract painting.

But then he's the type of guy who'd be a very good and trustworthy friend but a never a good lover.

Even if he bullies me quite a lot, it kept me thinking that it's his way of expressing himself. Because at the end of the day we find comfort in just talking about life and his future plans, asking me to join him.

But I knew I wasn't up for that. I had a plans of my own, plans that I have made way before I met him and he had his own plans and including me on that one was touching but we're two different individuals and each of us has our own path to take.

A year of spending time and doing things together, I knew he had adjusted to the lifestyle in this new city we're living in. He found new friends and joined school orgs. Then and there I knew I should start letting him go and setting his wings free to fly and he was happy about it.

I may have felt something for him but I repressed all these emotions, I don't wan't to waste the good friendship that we had and I knew him very well that he could never settle down and handle being tied up in a relationship right now. He's a free spirited person who always seeks fun in party, booze and girls. He was never afraid of showing me that.

And I'm actually satisfied of what we have right now, I'm at peace for the very first time in my life. He may be a very hard headed asshole but he knows how to handle me well and I cherish that a lot.

If the time comes and fate would give us a chance, maybe I would accept it without inhibitions. He may be a very flawed human being but I accepted all that as a part of him already, and when we're both ready, we'll embrace these flaws as if it's perfect, as if it never existed.