Bag Check; a short story

2- Friday or Saturday, I don't Remember.

I feel my phone buzz. I check it quickly.

Ryan: Morning! School, huh?

I'm tedious, but respond. 

Me: We go to the same school- which means you have to get up too.

I see a chat bubble in process and get a feeling in my stomach. I have to show up now!

My phone buzzes again, I glance over my shoulder as I put my books in my bag.

Ryan: Fair. Get ready, I'll see you in the hall.

I type a quick 'Okay!' and put my phone in my pocket.

The walk to school is a bit slow this morning. There are too many things on my mind at the moment. This was my last full week of school. I just need to get through it. Just two days. I get off on Tuesday next week. This is my final day of doing work.

I have a fair at school on Monday. It might take up less than half a day but it'll be fine. I worked extra hard to get in to have a good time for once. I want to get out and socialize. I want to catch up with old friends and be outrageous! I want to be bold- for once. 

I catch myself glance at my phone for any type of notification to distract me from the walking. One foot, one foot, one foot, and so on. I count my steps. 34, 67, 90, 24? No! Ugh it's fine.
I take in the scene.

People are walking around and having a good time. I stare at the ground and make sure I don't fall and trip and embarrass myself fully.

I make it to the hall in time, although being held back because of traffic.

I see something familiar over my shoulder. I see Ryan walking to his locker and my heart just kinda stops for a second. I begin to count my breaths. He seems to notice me and we make eye contact for like a second, but I turn away. I feel my face getting pink. 

Everyone seems to notice that I'm flustered. I grab my books for the first few periods and look over at Ryan again. He takes little glances towards me. I can't really say anything, but at least I know I'm not the only one staring. He probably only likes me as a friend. I shouldn't push anything.

I sit, and I wait for the instructor. An hour of last-minute information. We have finished some assignments. I can't wait to leave.

People are chatting, and I'm playing with my marker. I take sloppy notes right as she changes the slide. I must be the only one writing things down. Does it matter?

I keep checking the clock, waiting and waiting. My hands are shaking and I don't really understand why. Is this all for one reason? I'm not nervous, or am I? I can't pinpoint a specific feeling for it, but my heart feels like it's being kissed! I take deep breaths.

Riiiiing. Riiiiiing. Riiii-

I sprint from my seat and walk out the door. My heart has seemed to calm down a little. I look to my left and see Ryan. He's talking to one of his friends, and smiles. Never mind, the heart is beating. It really is. I don't know why my hands are sweating or why my books are almost slipping out of my hands. I don't know why I have a lump in my throat or why I can possibly be holding my breath as I walk. I can feel his eyes on me and I can't help it. I just turn into one big red tomato and I can't do anything about it. 

I rush to my next class.

-

We have lunch together, although I don't see him much during that period. I'm glad I don't because I really don't want to choke on my sandwich right now. I do, however, see him in recess (why do we still have recess?), and it hurts me physically but in a good way.

I finish my food and go to the cans to throw it away. I pass him by but he's still sitting so I give him a friendly poke in the back. I don't have enough time to see his reaction, but I hope it was nice. I throw my food away and walk to the courtyard. 

I meet Pat and we go sit and talk. 

I can't help but look over at Ryan and stare in awe. How can someone be so lovely? Ugh it makes me mad.

I see him look over at me a few times, but I'm the one that's mostly glancing over.

-

I consider walking over and talking to him like a normal person, but I don't have the guts to even try. I hear the bells ring which means it's time to get back inside. 

I stay behind him like some sort of creep and I hate myself for it. I want to go up and hug him and tell him 100 different things- but for now I walk and keep my distance.

 I want to leave.

-

-

-

I walk home, counting ever other step or so.

Sugarcane in the easy morning, 

weather vanes my one and lonely.

I pout, and look towards the hills. I take in all the green and the air- only to realize this all might not be here one day, including me.

You are the top of my lungs,

Drawn to the ones who never yawn.