CIGARETTES AND ALCOHOL

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Not much happened after the kiss. It was awkward to say the least, and once I got home and breathed a sigh of relief and collapsed into bed, knackered after all the emotions the day had brought, I had almost forgotten all about it. Almost.

I don't really know where we are now. I haven't seen Liam since Friday and that was a week ago. Maybe it was just a stupid mistake; wouldn't be the first and most certainly will not be the last.

I feel ridiculous in this dress, stupid in these shoes and even worse in this makeup, but it's my first ever house party and I want to make a good impression. Isabella finishes doing my eyeliner and admires her handiwork, smirking. Of course I haven't told them about Liam, it would only cause fuss and I don't want any fuss, if it meant nothing I'd rather no one knew. "Looks good! Ready to go?" Isabella asks no one in particular. Casey is too busy pushing up her boobs in front of the mirror. I can't help but notice how skinny she has gotten recently, well maybe not skinny exactly, but she's lost a lot of weight in such a short amount of time. "Well if no one is going to answer that's fine. I'm going anyway-"

"We're ready." I smile and pull Casey away from the mirror. Isabella chuckles and we follow her out of her home and onto the street. I don't even know whose house this party is at, only that it is somebody in our year who lives nearby.

The plastic bag full of booze clangs at Isabella's ankles and I gulp. I feel very uncomfortable in situations where I'm surround by alcohol, I don't like being out of control of my body. Not after Corey anyway. But mum told me I don't have to drink to have a good time, and practically ordered me to come straight home if anything happens. She's still feeling guilty about before, which in turn makes me feel guilty for making her feel guilty. It's an endless cycle of guilt!

"Here we are." Isabella slurs, having already chucked down quite a lot of booze at home before the party. She points at the house which looks full to the brim, the walls quaking with all the noise. I feel very sorry for the neighbours, half term week must be awful.

We trudge up the pavement and push open the door only to be greeted by masses of sweaty bodies and the stench of cigarettes and alcohol. I shudder, already feeling way out of my comfort zone.

A glass of a mysterious substance is immediately shoved into my hand by a stranger but Casey glugs hers down straight away which tells me it is definitely not poison, so is safe to drink, but even so, I grimace and when no one is looking I tip it onto the carpet which is already stained with vomit and probably semen by the looks of things.

The house doesn't feel like a family home, more like a frat house they have in those American college movies, with its torn wall paper and scruffy furniture. I follow my friends through the house until we wind up in the kitchen where Isabella unveils her collection of booze, tearing away the plastic bag and being met with lots of people, eager to get their hands on the liquid. Some of them I recognise from school, especially the 'whores' Isabella is always complaining about; but I can't see Liam anywhere and I would've thought he would come to a place like this. I can't hide my disappointment.

"Drink up Arden!" Isabella cheers, shoving a can my way, some random guy already with his arm around her shoulders.

"I'm okay." I push back the can and start to fiddle with the sleeves of my dress nervously, all I want now is to go back home, as childish as it sounds.

Casey notices my uneasiness and snakes her hand around my waist and takes me to the front room away from the booze, but the front room instead stinks of weed. Casey doesn't seem fazed, she just collapses down onto one of the torn sofas and yawns, she's a tired drunk; better than being an angry one I suppose. "Ugh," she grumbles, pulling a pillow under her head, "I didn't know he was going to be here." She points at the scruffy looking lad in the corner of the room, his back to us. His tongue is down some girl's throat and he is pushing her up against the wall, her hands tugging at his hair lightly. "That Liam Gallagher needs chipping." Casey shakes her head and yawns once more.

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