Flare in the Darkness: Holwena Talnrë of Rothalon

Chapter Ten: Conflicts of the Heart

Riharis, son of Lord Halfter of Edel Hag, was a man still young, broad in build and face, and he had been called heavy and slow, and a lack-wit in his youth. He was neither, though his thoughts were few and he kept them to himself, rarely wishing to speak aloud, and was ill at ease around people;and his burly form was quick when provoked to anger. Quick indeed was his anger at any hint of insult, for the names of "boulder" and "cart" and "cow" still rankled very deep within him.

Considering his father's standing in the nobles of Rothalon, he was a reasonable decision, Holwena thought as she surveyed the uncomfortable face of the man that the council had chosen to be her husband. She knew him well by name and sight, though they had never exchanged words together in her recollection. Slow in thinking, she thought with her swift, true insight, and slow to act – unless maybe startled.

He was shifting clumsily, staring at her with uncertainty. Well he might feel awkward, for he had just been shown into the presence of his future bride, the queen of Rothalon at that. One of the nobles nudged him in the silence, and he coughed and cleared his throat once or twice, coming forward with a bow of the head.

"My lady, Holwena Talnrë," he mumbled.

"Lord Riharis," she answered, dipping her head in return. Glancing to the courtiers standing around them, she said, "You may go now."

They nodded and withdrew, so that Riharis and Holwena were alone. She looked at him with a small, reassuring smile and stepped aside, moving across the wide room to shut a window whose casement had fallen ajar.

For his part, Riharis was wondering how he had come to be pledged to this slip of a girl-woman, with a face as grave and peaceful as a dove's and beautiful dark eyes that seemed to read things he had not spoken aloud, slender and fair as a flower but full of poise and dignity. He felt as much like a large and stupid bull as he had ever felt – larger, stupider.

It does not matter, he realized however, quite simply. It does not matter if I am large and stupid, if I fumble and cannot speak. She is betrothed to me, and no-one can change that.

It was a new thing for him, to know that he had something no-one could take from him, and he treasured the feeling a long time.

Meanwhile, Holwena studied him, sensing that his unease had left for the moment. She wondered whether she were ready for this, and if Galdeol had been here, if he would have chosen differently for her. She did not know if she wanted to marry this man, so large, so rough and almost boorish.

But she shook her head inwardly, tightened her lips. There was no profitable end in wishing otherwise to something already decided. This she must face, and accept.

~

It was a day near the solstice of winter when the queen of Rothalon wedded Lord Riharis of Edel Hag.

She stood below the dais and the throne, clad in a trailing gown of gem-hung white, her hair bound with silver and branches of white spruce in her hands.

White for purity, and pine for fidelity. She gave them into his hands as he approached her, and together they vowed their faithfulness to one another, but Holwena's eyes were downcast, and would not meet Riharis'. She felt a small rebellion, such a feeling as she was unused to; she wished that things were different. She wanted to have a love and affection for her husband, such as she had seen in her own mother and father, and she did not have it for Riharis.

She took the crown from her head when they had said their vows, and gave it to Riharis, saying, "Riharis, son of Halfter, I am not Talnrë unto you. I lay aside the crown to be your submissive wife."

"Nor am I Talnvar unto you," Riharis answered according to the requisite form, taking the crown and setting it on the floor between them. "I will not usurp your authority, nor give you aught besides love and counsel in matters of rule. But in our marriage only am I your head." His tongue stumbled faintly over the formal address, and he took her hands and crossed them over one another, enfolding his around them. She lifted her head then, a quick look up into his deep eyes and furrowed brow, and saw his features relax into a small smile. His hands closed more firmly over hers as Lord Sernhir stepped forward to bind their wrists together.

Glad horns sounded and the crowd lifted its voice in cheering, while Riharis looked in appreciation on his bride and she slowly lowered her gaze from his.

~

The wind howled cruelly outside the strong grey towers of Serndol, rattling the windows like clashing weapons. Holwena stood with a robe pulled tight about her shoulders, listening to the muted turmoil. The gale seemed to bear a keening, a scream of ugthoda, and she shivered.

The hissing crash of a log into the fireplace broke into her reverie; and she turned to see Riharis stepping back, dusting the wood-shavings from his hands. He looked at her and smiled. "Turn away from the window, ri-arhona, and do not trouble yourself tonight over the storm. The spring will be here soon."

With a quiet compliance she came and seated herself by the rustling fire. Riharis was pleased; for he was easily pleased. He did not see beyond the obedience to his own requests.

"Come, ri-arhona," he said again after a time, looking hopefully at her. "Can you not cast off your gloominess and be joyful? It is evening, and there are hours before morning and your state duties, and all such tiresome tasks."

Holwena swallowed a little yawn. "I do not find them particularly tiresome," she responded calmly.

He shrugged and leaned against the fireplace, that patiently hopeful look in his eyes.

Holwena looked away and rose, a weary droop to her shoulders as she walked to their bed and perched on the edge of it.

"Holwena," he said earnestly, his face in half-shadow as he stood by the fire and watched her.

Her dark head lifted, the heavy locks falling loose over her shoulders and her soft lips unsmiling.

"Holwena–" he began, very hesitantly, like a vulnerable boy again. "Do you care for me?"

"I would not wish you to die, Riharis," she answered, looking away.

"You know what I mean, Holwena." He sounded a little hurt.

"Is this the time?" she asked, staring at her hands.

"You have been my wife for two months, and I have never asked you. Because I was afraid to ask. Answer me now." He sounded rough, almost angry.

"I–" she tried to meet his gaze. Her words stammered and broke off and she turned to lie down. "Another time – ask me another time, Riharis."

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ri-arhona: little wife

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A/N: Hey there, everybody! What do you think of Riharis? We're looking at 5 - 6 more chapters to finish this up; keep your eyes open for more soon!

Also, after a lot of feedback from the book club I've been in, I added a section to Chapter One which goes a little more into Holwena's head and explains something more about the war with the ugthoda. It's between the scene with Corhin and Haldorin and the scene with Queen Maera and the girls. Check it out and let me know what you think!