Swear You Still Love Me?

Fourteen

June 12th, 2017

Fergal and I had another counselling session today so the twins were at daycare.I made sure to pump a lot for Caylee before we let her in the capable hands of Becky who utterly adores her. Fergal and I had just arrived back home after dropping them off to prepare for our appointment. Fergal's been rather quiet today which is making me slightly worried but I'll find out when we get there. I pull off my crappy t-shit and put on a nice tank top and a denim vest. I put on my favorite pair of jeans with a pair of wedge heels. Fergal was already dressed in a black t-shirt and a pair of dark wash jeans with his converse. I stood in front of the full length mirror in our bedroom.

I heard Fergal suck in a sharp breath behind me. It was mere seconds before his arms wrapped around my waist. He placed his lip gently to my neck making me tip my head to the side. I let a small moan slip past my lips. "You my queen look incredible. Beyond words sexy and beautiful." He mumbled against my neck. His lips pressing soft kisses to the sensitive skin there. "Breath taking." He whispered. He spun me around placing his hands on me, one on my hip and the other woven into my hair. His lips were on mine within seconds as his large hand squeezed my hip none to gently. His fingertips digging into my rear. I wrapped my arms around his waist and melted into his kiss and touch. My head was spinning and my knees were weak when he pulled away. "I love you." He said as he leaned his forehead on my own.

"I love you too." I whispered looking up into his cloudy eyes. He let his eyes flutter closed as that incredible smile over came his face. I twisted my head placing a loving kiss to his cheek. I rested my head against his chest hugging him close.

Eventually we pulled apart and I gave him a soft smile. We left our house, Fergal still being rather quiet but I think it's because we both know Ava wants to discuss what we did during our separations. The thought makes both of us uncomfortable. I mean personally I know that we weren't together during these times but I don't really want to hear about the women he had been with and I am willing to bet he doesn't want to hear about the men I've been with... Admittedly I was never with anyone during our five month separation however... I don't know about Finn. I'm not sure I want to...

The car ride was completely silent. Finn held my hand the whole way and when we arrived we walked in without a word. I checked us in but before I could sit down Ava called us in. Both Finn and I looked at each other and took deep breaths because we knew we were in for an emotional roller coaster today. I love him more than anything the though of him with another woman makes me sick. Whether we were together or not it makes no difference. I don't really want hear about this. We walked into Ava's office and she knew immediately that tensions were high.

"Well guys. Today is going to suck. Today is going to push you to your limits and you're both going to hear things about one another you never wanted to hear. I see how much you two adore and love each other. You two need to do this to move forward. We are going to start with Christina. I want to know everything that happened during your seven year separation from Fergal." She smiled at me encouragingly.

I sucked in a deep breath and began to feel sick. I pushed that thought out of my mind as I looked between Ava and Fergal. "Well. I left Japan and moved into my Uncle's home in Orlando. For the first few months I was bed ridden depressed and was put on anti-depressants. I lost a lot of weight from not eating and my mental state was horrific. Once I was on the medication I started to feel a bit better and began gaining weight. I started a new job at the hospital working as a midwife. I still had a lot of times when I would get down, mostly around that dates where I had the greatest memories with Fergal. But I began dating after about two years of being in Orlando I met a guy named Aaron who was a really sweet guy but I let things get to far when I knew I wasn't ready for a full commitment. He had proposed to me and I declined. I haven't spoken to him since. A year after that I met someone else who seemed rather nice his name was Mitchell but one day I said something and he turned around and slapped me across the face.He told all his friends to call me for a good time it was horrible.By this point I am off the medication so I fell back into a depression. This time it wasn't as bad. I still went to work and went out with my uncle for dinner random thing like that. I then started dating someone else his name was Jared really adorable and sweet guy but too clingy and possessive so I ended it. I ended my dating life then too. I realized I... Well I could never love someone as much as I love Fergal. Eventually our friend Becky came down and I we began to hang out again. Her and our close friend Matt got me the job at the Performance Center. After that is when I saw Fergal again." I finished my story and I could see Fergal's shocked expression from the corner of my eye.