Help Me Not Hurt

Bad Boy

Tessa's POV

I woke up to someone shaking me gently. I looked up to see my mom. I groaned and rolled away from her, almost crushing Alyssa.

"Come on, girls. It's time for school." She said in a gentle voice. We didn't respond.

"I made you guys chocolate chip pancakes."

At those words Alyssa sat upright, with excitement in her eyes.

"Really?" She asked, eyes full of hope.

"Yup, and you better go get them while their warm." My mom said, looking down at Alyssa with love, and at me with a mixture of love and guilt. My sister scrambled to get over me and she ran out the room and to the kitchen. I, on the other hand, started to get ready for school.

"Aren't you going to get some, Tessa?" My mom asked with hurt in her voice.

"Not that hungry, but thanks anyways." I replied. That's a lie, though. I was hungry, but I refused to eat her tainted food. The food itself wasn't tainted, but her reasons for cooking them were. You see, every time she beat me she felt guilty and would start to try to gain my forgiveness by doing nice things, but by the end of the week, she would go out drinking again and beat me. I was used to the cycle by now. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt every time the cycle repeated itself. And since this was part of the cycle, I refused to follow it.

"But I made them so that you would have something in your stomach for school." She said, trying to guilt me into eating them with her sad eyes. I looked at her with an blank face.

"I'll just eat with James." I said, referring to my best friend who was supposed to be here today.

A look of anger passed her features before she quickly put on a fake smile.

"Oh, alright then. But I am giving you a ride to school." She said with a determination. I cringed at the thought of being so close to her in a car. It's not that I don't love her, I love her deeply, it's just that every time I'm in the same room as her I feel like breaking down into a sobbing mess. That's why I was being so distant toward her now. I didn't want her to see me in a weak state.

"Can't today, but you can give Alyssa one." I said.

"Why can't I give you a ride to school? Am I too lame for you now? Are you just too cool to be seen with your mom?" She asked, frustrated.

"No, I'm meeting up with James. I haven't seen him since he went to visit his grandparents for the summer." I said, putting up my emotionless facade.

She sighed and ran her fingers through her thin, blond hair.

"Fine." She said, defeated and walked out of the room with slouched shoulders.

Twenty minutes later I was waiting in the park nearest to my school, waiting for James.

Suddenly a pair of hands covered my eyes.

"Guess who." A deep male voice said. I smiled. He was the only person besides Alyssa I knew that could put a smile on my face when I'm depressed. I grabbed the hands and turned around to see my best friend, James.

"Hey James." I said, smiling.

He looked at me and noticed the bruises. His expression turned from happy to angry within a matter of seconds.

"Did she hurt you again?" He asked in an accusing tone.

James knew all about my mom beating me. He knew since it started. You see, we've been friends ever since we were in preschool, so he was the first one that questioned me in the fourth grade on why I was acting so weird. And basically when he asked that I broke down crying and told him what my mom was doing. He wanted to go to the police, but back then I foolishly thought my mom would go back to her same old loving self, but she didn't.