Of Warm Hands Hidden (KHR FANFIC)

Of Isolation yearning

The first time it happened was when he was at the tender age of fourteen.

He could vividly remember the fatigue clinging to his bones like dead weight, his muscles screaming for rest and his lungs in desperate need for oxygen.

His mind was exhausted. So exhausted that he nearly missed the ashes being blown into the air and the feeling of the area being a lot more empty than it should be. He nearly did, but he didn't.

A small part of him wished he did.

Tsuna fell to his knees immediately once the battle was over, crumpling like paper. He felt like his entire body was brittle. If the breeze blew a bit harder perhaps he would shatter– and at that very moment, he certainly wanted to.

His comrade's joyful chatter and relieved rejoices were simply white noise in his ears. His eyes wouldn't move from the spot on the ground where he used to be. He used to be there and now he isn't, he isn't anywhere why is no one realizing that–

A light touch to his shoulder jolted him out of his thoughts. Without thinking, he jerked away from the touch.

Reborn's unusual blank face met his eyes and only then did Tsuna notice that everyone had gone quiet, all staring at him with concern and confusion.

Something under his skin itched.

"Tsuna?" As soft as Reborn had intended his voice to be, it was like sirens ringing in his ears.

He had to get away. He had to– he had to breathe. He needed to. His clothes felt like they were suffocating him and his gloves– his goddamn gloves that once conducted his flames– needed to come off.

Everything was too close despite the huge space around him. There was something stuck in his throat and he couldn't breathe and Reborn was still touching him and his gloves were still on–

"Calm down, Tsuna. Breathe." Tsuna couldn't. He just couldn't. There were others trying to say something but there was too much going on.

Tsuna wanted to scream.

Keep it in, keep it in.

Now tears were stinging in his eyes and he couldn't take it anymore so Tsuna gritted his teeth together to push back the migraine starting to build up and got up to his feet in jerky movements.

His action only caused more noise to erupt and that encouraged him to run– run anywhere. He had to go somewhere that just wasn't here.

Tsuna knew that they could chase him, it'd be simple to do so. He fully expected them to come after him but the noise started to slowly fade away the further he got from the grounds and instantly, Tsuna felt immense relief.

Eventually, he came to a stop in the middle of god knows where. While his blood was pumping, Tsuna unceremoniously removes his woolen gloves in haste. It gave him immense pleasure to see them on the ground, away from him. The adrenaline that assisted in his escape disappeared and the consequences crashed into him ungracefully. Tsuna curled up into a ball and tried to control his breathing.

Inhale. Hold. Exhale. Repeat.

He removed his hoodie, leaving him with only his shirt on his chest.

Inhale. Hold. Exhale. Repeat.

Inhale... hold. Exhale.

Tsuna opened his eyes and couldn't remember when he closed them. His gaze fell onto a patch of grass and he saw the ants– life. Precious, irreplaceable life– battle their way through to get back home.