Magic Tricks

Chapter 2

Dying isn't so hard, I think it's peaceful but living is harder than breathing with a thousand rocks on your chest.
~Me

I feel like I'm drowning like I'm constantly having a war within me between darkness and light. I'm scared of the nightmares the darkness gives me, the demons it holds. I'm afraid of the hope the light gives me. I'm afraid to smile or feel joy again cause it might be snatched away.

To me, darkness represents death and light represents life. I am not scared of death, in fact, I welcome it but I am afraid of life because I never know what it's going to throw at me, I never know what to expect.

But what I've realized is you can't have one without the other. What is life without death? What is darkness without light? For without darkness we would have never known light, and without death, we would have never known life.

Beep Beep Beep.

I open my eyes slowly; the bright white light shining around the room almost blinds me. I look around my surroundings and sigh; I'm in the hospital. I hate hospitals, they smell like death.

When a crazy serial killer is loose in your town for almost ten years, you grow a weird superpower to be able to smell death.

Looking down at my hand, I find Matthew fast asleep holding it tightly. I nudged him waking him up from his sleep. We stared at each having a silent conversation with our eyes. "Hey there stranger," I finally said. He smiled and asked, "How are you feeling?"

I frowned a bit. I think that question is simply redundant, I mean I passed out and now I'm in the hospital how am I supposed to be feeling?

"Right now, I'm contemplating our whole friendship. You know I hate that question," I answered looking away from him. Matt didn't say anything else; he rubbed small circles on my hand while we sat in comfortable silence.

My head hurt a little; I assume I have a tumor based on the information I've received from numerous tv shows, movies, and soap operas. People usually cry at that scene when the main character loses everything or finds out they have a life ending disease, but I'm always amazed. That scene explains life so well that everything you love can get snatched away in just a second, your life could end literally in just a second.

I wonder what would have happened if I died. A very depressing subject I know, but maybe then I would get to meet my mom again. Maybe then I would finally get to leave this pain that is sucking the life out of me.

I turned and faced Matt, and he looked at me, I noticed he had a bruise on his left cheek. I brought my hand up to his cheek and touched the bruise, "It happened again?" I asked quietly. He nodded.

"When?" I asked

"Last night."

I sighed, Matthew's dad is an abusive prick. He'd become distant like my dad over the years, he never came home, and when he did, he got aggressive. I didn't say anything else; Matt didn't either.

"I'm going to go get the doctor," Matt said, he got up from his chair and left the room.

A few minutes later my dad walks in. He doesn't say anything he doesn't even look at me, he just stands there quietly. "What were you thinking Abigail? Why on earth did you do something so stupid?" he finally says. I was going to answer that I was thinking of the pain that crazy killer caused a lot of other families and us and that what I did wasn't stupid, but I decided to stay silent.