Writings prompts

Prompt V

Prompt: Heaven and Hell are two rival hotels, and the only reason people stay in Hell is because management at Heaven rebooked them for various reasons.  You are the first person in a very long time to willingly book a room at Hell.

I wheeled my suitcase through the lobby passing a couple of comfy looking chairs made of skulls and a cozy looking hellfire pit. As I approached the front desk and reached for the bell, a demonic being materialized from behind the desk.

"Hello, are you here for rebooking?"

"Um, no," I said, "I actually reserved the honeymoon suite."

"Reserved?" He said looking confused.

"Yes, I wanted to be able to still reserve a suite for our honeymoon, but this was the only place I had the money for." I said, slumping my shoulders.

"Ok," he said, looking at me like a demon in a confessional, "are you the Hansen party?"

"Yeah, that's me."

"Alright, well here is your room key," he mused, starting to get back into his character, "There is no Wi-Fi here and your provider probably doesn't have signal here, I hope that is not a problem." A grin, slithering across his face.

"No, she never let me have a phone because she didn't trust me," I mumbled, letting my shoulders sink even lower. His grin faltered.

"Um... ok, well all the alarm clocks are preset to 0430, but or continental breakfast isn't served until 0900 and it only consists of kix cereal and waffles with no syrup or butter," he blurted out, starting to get a panicked look on his face.

"Oh, ok," I said turning away from the desk to head towards the stairs, "I don't really eat breakfast anyway, she used to say unemployed guys don't deserve breakfast."

"Hey, bud, the elevators over there," he shouted after me.

"Does it work?"

"Well... no," he said, almost ashamed for trying that last ditch effort.

"Yeah, I figured it wouldn't work out, just like everything else in my life," I muttered. "Do you have any shitty liquor in the mini bar?"

"Um... No, but the sink only pours out rubbing alcohol, if you want water, the shower puts out only cold water."

"Thanks, that works just fine, I'm gonna go drink myself into a coma," I said as I pushed aside the heavy hellfire proof door to the stairway, "I gotta try forgetting the feeling of standing alone on the alter."

"Fucking hell, dude," he muttered under his breathe as I left.

ring ring 

Peter: Hello, thank you for calling the Heaven Hotel, how can I assist you today?

Lucy: Hey, Lucifer here...

Peter: Lucifer I thought I told you to stop calling this number

Lucy: Oh cut the crap, Peter, I need a favor.

Peter: Why should I ever give you a favor?

Lucy: Oh fuck you, you know you would not get nearly as much business if I didn't exist as the alternative.

Peter: Fine, what?

Lucy: I need a booking for your honeymoon suite.

Peter: What!? That room is booked out for the next decade!

Lucy: Well bump em, I got a customer who needs this more than anyone.

Note: say what you will about me, but this was a fun way to waste an hour writing.