Don't Lose Faith (Ashley Purdy Fanfic)

Chapter 1

  Edited

   Where is it? I fretted, scouring my bed and the edges for my head phones. I lifted the last corner of a blanket, a black cord just barley visible. I sighed in relief, a small smile growing on my lips. I plugged the head phones into my phone slipped on a Bring Me The Horizon crew neck, ripped blue jean shorts, cowboy boots, and hooked some spurs on my belt loop to remind me to bring them to the barn.

     I heading down the stairs and out the door pressing play on my phone. Girls Girls Girls by Motley Crue came on as I turned and called for my black lab before running towards the woods "Come on Bubba, lets go!" I smiled, chuckling at his excited gait. When was younger I always use to call him it after I had seen some movie and I guess name just kinda stuck.

     He ran towards the apple tree, rocketing past me and my noisy gait to find the best apple on the ground. God I needed this, I thought, if I had to spend one more minute in that damn place I don't know what I'd do. I forced myself to forget it, forget the incessant pain, forget it all.

    I walked over the the tree admiring the view around me. The woods straight ahead of me, the field and garden to my right, a path in between trees on my left. So peaceful, I thought grabbing an apple from the tree and petting Bubba before climbing up into the branches of the tree and leaning against the trunk. I closed my eyes as the songs changed smirking as my shuffle picked the perfect song to sing to.

    The Great Escape by Pierce The Veil, singing right along with danny Worsnop and Vic. I couldn't hold it back any longer, this pain, inner and exterior was becoming too much, I started to cry but refused to stop singing as the flashbacks hit me with a vengeance.

    * "What part of, ' leave me the fuck alone' don't you get?" I asked him pissed off to the hades. Jace is never going to let me out of his sight after this. I began to walk away fast and irritated. Aaron grabbed my shoulder, attempting to turn me around , I shoved him off. " Come on, just one hug?" He asked me. Why wont he leave me alone? Dammit what do I have to get it through his head, its really starting to freak me out. Constant touching, jokes, comments, hell this kids even stalked me through the school. I turned my head, glaring at him "Fuck off" I said. You just have to get to the stairs lose him in the crowed and find Jace. I felt a hand grab my arm. "Just come to my locker with me its right around the corner." I attempted jerking my arm free with no success. I sighed glaring at him refusing to answer. Why hasn't anyone noticed this yet? Probably want to get home, i guess i don't blame them. Aaron stopped, pulling me to a halt with him. Ha he has combination locker, this should be a piece of cake. He let go of me to open his locker. I turned on my heal fast walking away from him. I shot down the stairs and ran to Jace.

     He was facing the opposite direction, his dark black longish hair slightly messy,as if he ran his hand through it multiple times. I reached him leaning in and whispering in his ear "Walk me to my bus." I rushed out. He turned seeing it was me and what I can only guess as to how wild and irritated I looked and frankly a little scared. He grabbed my arms as I glanced at the staircase seeing Aaron flying down them.

     Jace walked me into the cafeteria and out the doors their, not saying a word. "I"ll explain as soon as I can." I assured him " I just don't have time." His irritated blue eyes looked at me as we arrived at my bus, breaking through the crowd of anxious teens. They softened slightly once making contact with my eyes. "I know you will and you better tell the whole thing, no cutting things out" he said sternly.

     I sighed "When have I ever done that?" I asked raising a brow. " I wouldn't know if you hadn't of told me, now would I?" He replied with a crooked grin that didn't quite reach his eyes "Alright smartass, I'll give you that." I replied with a chuckle. "Now don't you have a bus to catch?" I questioned

     "No, I'm staying after with the guys, speaking of which, why aren't you?"

     I blushed slightly, feeling bad for having him walk me out. "No, I'm going ridding, and then I think I'm going to practice my guitar." I told him staring off into space.

     "Alright, well get a hold of me if you need anything, and remember only one more day of school till the weekend" he grinned. "Thank god for that," I said as leaned in to hug him "Thanks for this, really." I told him pulling away and turning towards the bus door. "No problem, I've told this before, just tell me tomorrow?" I smiled softly at him, "I wont break my promise, see ya" I told him as he smiled sadly at me but looked relieved. "Bye" *

     I remember I had gotten to school the next day, wordlessly and hiding my wrist in a 4 button grey and white stripped wool sweater. I didn't say a word one, I had broken my promise to him of never cutting again after I received multitudes of messages from him and even found notes hidden in my belongings. I was scared shitless of Aaron. I had sat at the table in the cafeteria in the morning, Jace and the boys engrossed in conversation. I was relieved, I wasn't ready to talk yet. Rain had run up then, her unruly blonde hair bouncing with her. "Hey Scarlet" she said studying my face. I was about to reply when understanding crossed her face and she continued "What's wrong" she asked. Jace's head snapped over to that along with Jarelds, Marks and the rests. I couldn't speak, and I didn't realize I was crying until Rain hugged me tightly. "Aaron" I managed to croak out.

     Jareld jumped up " Oh hell no, you have to tell someone" I shook my head as Jace stood up too, fists clenched. "Yes Scar, you do" he told me with a soft expression and voice. "But,-" "No buts, I'm going to whether you like it or not" Jerald exclaimed as he, Jace, and Mark stood and began walking. I quickly stood, knowing they had made up there mind, and there was no use in protesting.***

     Little did I know then that not only would the school not do anything but that that wasn't the last I would have to deal with Aaron or any other situations. For me I was either an object of sex or not of interest at all. So that's how I had begun to see myself as. An objectmeant for nothing but that even though I still held my innocence. Jace soon knocked that idea out of my head but became very overprotective of me along with the guys. That whole 'semester of Aaron' as I called it I was never left alone, either Jereld or Jace was by my side. Mainly Jace though, and I soon become even closer with him. I only saw him as a friend and that's how he saw me, even if others begged to differ. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way though. I still don't. I love him  an enormous amount but I'm not in love with him.

     I still don't trust guys as far as dating, and the list of guys who only wanted me for another mark on their bed post didn't help. I took a shaky breath as my face became flooded with tears. I just don't believe in love anymore

Hello to anyone reading this. First off I would like to say thank you, this isn't my first time writing but it is the first time I've ever published something and am pushing myself to finish it. The things that have happened to Scarlet in the past is my past, though some of it is a bit dramatic for the story as it is fiction. I decided I was going to make this a bit personal, kinda give me an outlet and inspiration. I've already written several chapters and am planning on updating every few days. leave suggestions on how you think I should update in the comments. I promise though, Ashley will soon be coming in.