Sirius Black Preferences

When You Keep Him Alive *Non-Triggering* (Part Four)

A/N: Okay, so I absolutely love this chapter but I honestly cannot wait for you to read Part 5 and 6. Tears will fall. ;)

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It weighed heavily upon him, the tenebrosity- obsidian black and deathly cold. Oppressive.

Yet he refused embrace the light. The saving illumination that could restore such equilibrium to his life.

Within the containing darkness, he found a comforting pain. Surprisingly addictive and undeniably dangerous.

Cerebrum, Cerebellum, Hypothalamus, Pituitary Gland, Parietal Lobe, Temporal Lobes- all infected with the idealism of a poetic death.

At worst, he would live and forever be plagued by his past crimes. At best...

Life but a mere string of sentences. Finally, he had run out of words.

Except that was not the case. They were the author. The novel not yet complete. Thump. Thump. Thump. The typewriter sounded, adding verse upon verse to his weary tale. His blood, it's ink.

The murkiness thinned from around him and paled into non-existence- his longing for the blissful unaware intensified, to the point where he was sure it would burst forth from his rib cage, sending shrapnel in all directions. How many more would he hurt?

Then it came. The frightfully beautiful breath of life, which bloomed within him like a tainted peony- it's petals marred with a disgusting tar. A dirt he himself could never wipe away.

The inevitable occurred, the blinding radiance that filled his sight. It was agonising. So long he had resided within the dark and now, he had emerged into the reality he wished to escape. He had committed so many wrong doings. Too many.

But then he saw it, the celestial being. It stared at him, with a look of...fear? Hope? Relief? Surely he was too impure to be spied by such a perfect creature?

It's cheeks stained with bitterly sad tears. Rivers, as opposed to a single stream. Did it weep for his soul?

The angel whispered a desperate plea, which consisted of three simple words: "Don't leave me."

Could he accept the light? Even just to appease the angel's distressed mantra?

He gazed upon it's facial features, so flawless. The eyes, so wide and filled to the brim with imploration for him to remain in the land of consciousness.

The wording had changed to a slightly different variation of the prayer it had previously beseeched. "Stay with me."

It dawned upon him that this was his own personal angel. His companion. The one he had only recently pushed away. The one he should have kept close but failed to do so.

He recalled your final meeting. You had faced him, a look of terror on your face because of something he had said or did. It had been a moronic act on his behalf.

With a newfound resolve, he began to breathe with more effort, so to force the oxygen to inhabit his exhausted lungs.

To refuse the request such a heavenly entity would be such a severe crime, one that would truly blacken his name. Permanently.

He could not disappoint you again. Not this time.

He was going to live because you had willed it.

****

You suddenly woke up with a start, drenched in sweat and with tears in your eyes. With a shaky hand, you wiped away the sweat from your forehead. Glancing to your side, you saw that your (girlfriend/boyfriend) was still lying peacefully beside you. You sighed. It had all been a dream. A nightmare.

"(Y/N)?" you heard them whisper, stirring beside you. They rubbed their eyes as they looked up at you. Frowning, they struggled to sit up. "Everything okay?" they asked again.

"I'm sorry I woke you up." you mumbled. "It was just a nightmare. I'm okay."

They nodded but their facial expression was still moulded into a mask of concern.

Slowly, they pulled you both back down onto the mattress. They lay on their left side, wrapping their arms around you. You hand came up to rest on their chest, feeling for their heart beat. It was perfectly in sync with yours.

Your (girlfriend/boyfriend) eyelids were already drooping from exhaustion. "Go back to sleep, little love." they whispered, already re-entering a state of blissful unaware. "I'm here if you need me."

Except you didn't go back to sleep because whenever you did, the spectre would appear, with his intense blue eyes and crooked smile.

Beautiful but haunting...