사랑하니까 (On the Wings of Love)

IX

-Entry #67-

Time is flying by like never before and the days are starting to blur together for me. Here I am, once again, all alone in this tiny room with nothing to do. My mind is cluttered, however. Littered with thoughts of her. I really shouldn’t be thinking about Yoongie this much, should I? What is it about this human being that makes me so happy whenever I see her? It seems as though the harder I try to stay away from her, the closer I get to her.

Just this morning she had asked me out to breakfast and even fed me a mouthful of that honey-glazed doughnut she was having. She just seems to have some sort of power over me. I simply can’t say no to her. Why do I keep allowing myself to fall for her over and over again? I really, really don’t want to. Yet I feel like I’m so deep in and--

Jessica slammed her notebook shut upon hearing a few firm knocks on the door of her motel, carefully stowing it away into one of the drawers. She opened the door to see Sehun standing there, offering a slight smile before allowing him in. It was the first time she had experienced mixed feelings at the sight of her best friend. He reminded her of Heaven and of the fact that they would be returning pretty soon. She could feel a sense of dread enveloping her at the mere thought of it.

The boy asked how her evening was going and whether or not she had her dinner, setting his backpack down before occupying a corner of his friend’s bed. Jessica only motioned toward an empty cardboard bowl that previously contained spicy-flavored instant noodles.

“Taking to such food already? They’re not nutritious at all. I’m sure they don’t taste half as good as the real thing.” Sehun started with his ramble, which Jessica chose to completely ignore this time. She enjoyed the food; it was as simple as that. Yoona would have been proud. Then again, why was she allowing Yoona’s opinion to matter?

“So, what have you been up to?”

“Reading.” Jessica fibbed.

“Speaking of that, can I finally review your entries now? You’ve managed to forget twice in a row. You definitely have it with you now, right?”

“Sehunnie, I’ve been writing about the same stuff over and over. There’s really no point in going through them.”

Still, the young man stubbornly insisted, claiming it was strictly the Chief’s instructions.

“I… I lost it.”

The lad’s eyes widened at her answer and he jumped up at once, successions of grumbles leaving his lips.

“Jess, do you have any idea how much trouble we could get into because of that? What if somebody finds it and reads it? What if--”

“Relax, Sehunnie. What I meant to say was I misplaced it in this room. I’ll find it, don’t worry.”

“Oh gosh, please don’t ever scare me like that again. The Chief would have me beheaded if anything went wrong.”