Abnegation

Chapter 2

Killian's P.O.V

These past five years have been nothing but torture. I've been denied the alpha status, my so called friends have all turned there backs on me, and my mate...well he was long gone but I knew it was all because of one stupid ass genius who rejected him...me. I've lived with the pain, and guilt of rejecting someone so perfect for all these years...and quite possibly the rest of my life. That was one of, or really, the main reasons I didn't ascend to the alpha status. My father, our packs alpha, didn't feel I was 'mature' enough to take on such a responsibility not to mention I couldn't run a pack without a Luna, without my mate. He was so pissed at me that he beat me to a plump and had me locked away without any help from pack doctors. I didn't object to his punishment as I basically doomed our packs future by rejecting my mate, and that in and of itself was something an alpha wasn't supposed to do no matter what. Everyone had practically shunned me, even my own wolf, Roscoe, turned his back on me and refrained from being alert whenever I shifted, though on full and new moons he spiraled out of control in his heat of pain and rage clawing at my body inflicting slow healing wounds. The pack did nothing to help me surpass the pain and that bothered me to no end but what bothered me the most was how I felt like me and Marcus' bond was severed. My wolf cried and howled in pain to no end and wouldn't even counsel me in my own unending hell.

But soon enough I was to be married and have offsprings with Jessica, the same girl I had left Marcus for the night I rejected him. My father saw it as no other choice for me to wed her since I'd rejected my mate for her, plus with him being gone and untraceable to mend said bond knew it was time for me to settle down. But all I could actually think about was Marcus. Despite being married to Jessica for the past three years I couldn't bring myself to touch her. But now that I knew Marcus was gone and wasn't coming back I had to suck up my pain and pride and be the husband I knew I could've been to Marcus. Another reason I knew my father pushed me to marry Jessica was because, though his alpha powers weren't slowly dimensioning like they were supposed too, he couldn't continue to run the pack it was my rightful time to take over but besides that mom complained about private time.

"Kil-Killian?" Jessica's soft voice called me pulling me from my thoughts, I nodded. "Are you okay?" She asked.

"Yeah". I said, she nodded in partial disbelief but didn't seem like she was going to pry it out of me.

"I wanted to ask you if you were going to come to bed tonight". She said lowly.

I've always stayed cooped up in my 'office' to avoid being around Jessica I mean she was a wonderful woman but I couldn't love her the way she wanted me too because she wasn't my mate. I hated being such an ass but Roscoe wasn't too accepting of me sleeping anywhere near her in the same bed. He'd growled the first night of our awkward honeymoon and which scared her of being to close to me for a while.

"So?" She asked.

"Mhmm sure I'll be there in a few". I said deciding to put Marcus who I knew was never coming back to the back of my mind and buried in the past, Jessica smiled and left.

Roscoe wasn't liking my newfound attitude as he growled and complained about Jessica not being his mate. I shut him off and readied to sleep next to Jessica. Maybe if all seems right we could cuddle but I highly doubt that.

After a hour of contemplating my impending actions I sighed before trudging out of the office and down to what was known as me and Jessica's room.

"What do you mean Marcus' wolf is gone?" I heard the angry voice of my mother.

"I'm sorry Luna but I felt it a year after he left". I heard the familiar voice say.