can you not? || fillie

0.4

why doesn't she want me like i want her? what am i doing wrong?

if only she felt the same way as me, we wouldn't be playing these games.
i wish i could rest easy at night knowing she is mine, but for now i must suffer with these questions bouncing around all night.

finn wrote down on his diary, a small dusty book that he hides under his bed, there he writes all this thoughts, his dreams, his fears and mostly all of them are related to a person
millie.

why is so goddamn complicated to stop thinking about her like that, she is just your best friend finn, she see me as a best friend it's just like that

finn closed the red book and put it back on his place, then he hopped on bed and tried his best to sleep but the images of the day keep repeating on his head like a movie that he'll never get tired of if, he had such a fun day with millie. one question was making him crazy 'does millie ever thinks about me at night or in class like i do?'

_

"dad im home!" millie said while taking her boots off and leaving her stuff on the floor

suddenly she saw his father running downstairs with a worried look on his face

great; millie thought

"w-where the f-fuck were you?!"  his father said screaming, you could tell he was angry, his face was bright red as a tomato and he was tripping on his own words

"where i was? i was working where the hell do you think i was? i told you in the morning before leaving remember?" millie said shouting, she was angry with his dad for being so dramatic

"oh wait" millie said getting closer to him, she recognized that smell "you are drunk" millie said moving her head in disapproval and biting her bottom lip "you are unbelievable DAD " millie said and pushed him aside and start running upstairs to her room

"m-millie stop i-im not done w- with you!" his father screamed but millie didn't come back

millie locked her bedroom door and went straight to the bathroom, she looked herself  on the mirror, puffy eyes and red nose, sometimes being the tough girl is tiring but she refused to cry, she wasn't going to let one single tear fall for that man who didn't deserve the title of her dad

_

the next day it was school day in the morning and finn was waiting outside of millie's house to go together to school as they always do

"what take you so long? you normally are ready in like 10 minutes " finn asked lifting his eyebrows and followed millie from behind that was already walking

"had some issues with my dad last night that's all" millie said not even looking at him, she was wearing striped leggings with black short, a white t shirt and a denim jacket

finn start walking faster to catch on with millie "the problem was because you were w-with me?" finn asked, his body full of fear because he didn't wanted to millie get in trouble by his fault

"no, no dumbass it's just my stupid father... he... he has a problem with drinking and sometimes it can get really bad" millie said looking straight at him but she knew finn was someone she could trust

"oh mills im sorry i had no idea..." finn said not knowing what to say that will make millie feel better

"yeah yeah whatever cut the crap it's fine" millie said laughing and pushed his shoulder playfully

"just don't tell anyone okay?" millie said "im talking seriously finn"

"of course not, i promise i won't mills" finn said

"okay i trust you we don't need to spit this time" millie said and both continue walking laughing

_

"oh look what we have here is the emo wolfhard" jack said with his crew of friends bursting in laughter pointing towards finn

finn looked down and he was about to start walking but-

suddenly jack stretch his foot and finn tripped over it

"there you go piece of shit" jack said and he was dying of laughter with his friends that were making even more fun of him

millie closed her locker and saw finn laying on the ground and jack and his crew laughing so she decided to go

"leave him alone jack" millie said and helped finn to stand up

"look what we have here, the emo piece of shit and the weirdo what a great combination" jack said laughing

"s-shut up jack" finn said shyly

"what you said wolfhard?" jack said getting closer to him

"he said to shut the fuck up, you don't get it cause your brain is smaller than the little peanut you got down there" millie said getting closer to jack and pointing down there, the whole school corridor heard it and they were laughing so bad

even jack friends laughed and jack's face turned red

"i-i im not done with you m-millie, neither with you emo shit" jack said screaming and left almost running

"call me" millie muttered and stick up her middle finger but it was too late, jack was already gone probably hiding under a rock or somewhere else

"millie i love you" finn said smiling and hugged her tightly

"best friends are best friends" millie said smiling too

"yeah best friend..."

_
im back bitches, i was taking a little break but now it's all right.
soo you liked the update? thoughts?
pleasee feedback will make me update more
ilyysmmm💜