Love of a Friend

Realize

I can't hide it, Can't help myself

I love you.. I want you..

All this month passed, i've been holding back myself. Everytime i see Ryeowook, my hands want to reach him. Everytime we sing together, my eyes can't escape his. Everything we did together, can't leave my memory. His touch giving me a strange feeling, like butterfly gone through my stomach to my chest. He is a special friend of mine, of course i will be happy everytime Ryeowook on my side, right? Well at least that is what i think. Until one day, we got into big fight for the first time because of my selfishness.

"Stop meeting her!" I shout loudly in his room right after i see his tears fell down.

"What are you talking about, Kyu?!" He shouted back to me and stand from his bed. Sungmin-hyung who tried to calm down Ryeowook earlier just sit dumbfounded in Ryeowook's bed while watching us throw curse to each other.

"For God's sake, Ryeowook! She is not deserve you! I told you many times before to just forget that damn girl! Look at you now cries in front of Sungmin-hyung!" I raise my voice than before, kicking this stupid door of Ryeowook's room. I'm sure hyungs in living room could hear it.

"Because i love her for many damn years! It's not even your business, Kyu! Why would you angry to me?!" Ryeowook cries even more than before.

"Why would i?! Just look at this! You never tell me anything, just one time! Am i not your friend?! You hide it and you instead crying in front of Sungmin-hyung!" I pointed to Sungmin-hyung, my eyes feels like burning.

"When i tell you, you just got annoyed and want me to get rid of her! I'm avoiding to tell you because i know we will just got into fight! And what's wrong with Sungmin-hyung?! He is my friend too!" Ryeowook looks like he is going crazy answer my nonsense reason. And just like that, hyungs coming over Ryeowook's room with concerned look. Teukie-hyung stand beside me and patted my shoulder, trying to stop me for another shouting.

"I just want you not get hurt by that damn girl! You know better she is not love you.. i know Sungmin-hyung is your friend too but i just think.." My words can't come out, i don't know what i'm going to say.

"What are you thinking?!" Ryeowook shout once again. Donghae-hyung come to him and touch his shoulder, "Ryeowook-ah.." he called Ryeowook softly, trying to calm him down. Ryeowook took a deep breath and sit in his bed.

"I'm tired.. can all of you get out of my room now?" Ryeowook said with weakly voice.

"Come on, Kyuhyun. Let's go." Teukie-hyung dragged me out of the room and told the other left too.

Tommorow evening after that day, me, Teuki-hyung, Shindong-hyung, and Eunhyuk-hyung goes to Sukira. I can't forget my fight with Ryeowook, some part of myself still mad at him, but then again i have no right to get mad after all it's his life, why should i? Why i feel so burning seeing him hurt and close to Sungmin-hyung like that? I want to say sorry after this broadcast end. I want to go home faster, that day feels so long for me.

Finally we finishing Sukira, and got into car. I just want to say sorry and have a good night sleep today. Until i hear loud voice from everywhere, scream and crashing. Before i knew, my body lying down in street. I can't feel my legs, pain goes through all of my body. It's hurt, too hurt. My mind goes flashback to all of my memories, from i've been birth until now. My tears fell down, this pain is too hurt, this memories giving me scared feeling of death in front of my eyes.

"K.. Kyuhyun-ah.." i can hear Teukie-hyung's voice from far away.

"Kyuhyun.." Eunhyuk came to me and crying.

"God, please.." on that little time, Eunhyuk started to praying while holding my hands tight. My tears fell down even faster this time, i close my eyes and praying with him.

'God, please.. there is many things i need to do..' and just like that, i turn into deep sleep, can't remember anything.

---

For a few month, i'm still unconscious from car accident. Now i've wake up and getting better even i still can't leave hospital. Hearing all the story that happen while i'm sleeping so long from members give me a goosebump. I'm very thankful to my dad who protected my dream of singer, to my doctor that giving me treatment and chance, to my member who praying and crying, to my fans who stay by our side. And thanks to God, for giving one more chance for me to live my life.

With this chance, i remember to do the things i wanted before. I'm saying thank you to all of them, i tell Eunhyuk how grateful i am when he come to praying with me that time. But there again, i never see Ryeowook coming to visit me. I want to say sorry to him, very much. And one day he come with Teukie-hyung and Sungmin-hyung, but he just stay silent and don't want to standing near my bed. I just watching him as Teukie-hyung tell me about their concert and fans support for me. Ryeowook looks uncomfortable and said he want to get a drink while walking out of my room.

"Teukie-hyung.." i called the leader weakly.

"Yes?"

"Can you give me time to talk to Ryeowook? He is avoiding me, right?" Teukie-hyung smile and nodded. He told something to Sungmin-hyung just then Ryeowook open the door.

"Ryeowook-ah, Sungmin and i need to go for our schedule right now." Teukie-hyung said and standing from chair.

"Then i will go too." Ryeowook grab Teukie-hyung's car key from the table and hand it to him.

"Can you stay with Kyuhyun? You don't have any schedule right? He is lonely and getting bored you know." Ryeowook looks a little bit shock.

"But.." just before he can say anything Teukie-hyung cut his words.

"Okay then good bye. Get well soon, Kyuhyun-ah." Teukie-hyung and Sungmin walking out of the room. I just replied with smile. After they left, Ryeowook just stay silent and took out his phone.

"Ryeowook-ah.. stop this. Let's talk." I grab his hand trying to get his attention.

"W.. what are you talking about, Kyu? You need to get a rest." He finally saying something to me.

"Look, i'm sorry. I didn't mean to mad at you, i'm sorry for shouting. I just don't want you to get hurt by that girl." I tried to explain myself. His face looks calmed and he sit beside my bed. Patted my hands and smile.

"It's fine, Kyu. I'm sorry too, i must hear your advice. She don't deserve me though, i've already forget my feeling now." I look him in the eyes, this is the first time i realize how grateful i am to watching this angelic face in front of me once again.

"I thought i can't say sorry to you. I thought i will be dead with many regrets.." my eyes feels hot, tears fell down once again. Ryeowook's hand caressing my forehead and patted it slowly. Somehow, his touch giving a little pain in my chest.

"I know.. i thought i can't meet you again and the last thing we did is fight. I'm sorry i'm not visit you that often because i feel guilty."

"Now you say. I will get out of hospital soon and you just visit me one time?" I let out small laughter and he just chuckled.

"That's great isn't it? After i visit you, you recover fast." He joked. And after that we talk about many things. Our relationship got better and he cares about me more.

"Then i will go to the dorm now, the hyungs need to be feeded." He got up from chair. Without thinking, my hands holding him on it's own. He look at me with confused look.

"Can't you stay here longer?" That words just slipped my mouth.

"Why? You lonely? Well since i'm your only best friend right now. But you know they will burning our dorm if i'm not get home now." He joked and hold my hands.

"Get well soon, Kyuhyun-ah." I nodded. He walk out of my room after waving hands to me. I let out a little sigh after realized what just happened. I'm looking through the door he left behind.

"Ryeowook-ah.. am i fall in love with you?"

•~•

NB : Sungmin once said that Ryeowook crying in front of him because of one girl he loves one time. So i just write that to this story to get the conflict with Kyuhyun, forgive me