Until Death Do US Part (boyxboy)

Chapter Seven

Jayson's P.O.V

I stood there clutching my mom for all she was worth. I surpassed leaning into her for support about twenty minutes ago. Her silk blouse was becoming tear stained, but neither of us really cared. We erupted into another round of sobs.

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.." the priest rambled on.

I looked over the casket feeling a wave of nausea like no other and took a wobbly step forward. I didn't care that the ceremony wasn't over yet; I tottered to the casket and leaned against it. Tears dripped onto the simple black coffin. Snot clogged my airways causing me to suck in a shuttering breath. I rubbed small circles on the glossy fiber glass. I didn't notice when the priest finished up the service. I didn't care. Nothing he said would ever be enough to sum up the life cut entirely too short.

"I'm sorry for you loss," women in black uttered. Men in pressed dress pants, much like my own, patted my back, but I found no comfort in their words or their touch.

The one person who could make me feel better couldn't even be here with me. I blame his hateful mom for this. She kept him away from me even after he told her that he was going to see me as he pleased. Now he wasn't here when I needed him most.

My mom nudged me wordlessly and I turned my face up to her with blood shot eyes. She handed me a single white rose and I turned back to the casket. It started its slow decent into the ground. I tossed the rose in while others tossed their own tributes. Once the coffin disappeared into the grave I gave a choked sob and my legs collapsed out from under me. I caught myself with my palms. Then as the forecaster predicted the sky opened up and shuttered. It was as if the clouds were aware of such a solemn day and cried, for the deceased youth. I slowly and shakily get to my feet. I looked at my muddy palms and wiped them off on my black dress pants. Any other occasion and my mom would have reamed me, but today she just silently carted me to the car. I sprawled out into the backseat and before long I was out.

XxXxX

When I woke up my face was littered with tears, drool, and snot. I was in a pair of pajamas which meant my dad must have brought me inside and pulled me out of my wet, muddy clothes. I curled up into a ball and peered out the window. It had to have been close to midnight. I wrapped the blanket around me, covering my head, and reached a shaky hand out from under my cocoon to retrieve my phone.

The normally dim light glowed excruciatingly bright causing me to shade my eyes. I checked my inbox for messages and saw condolences mixed with excuses as to why they couldn’t attend the funeral. The excuse ‘my dog died’ did not sit well with me. It actually infuriated me. I curled deeper into myself and bit my lip, scrunching up my face. A loud angry buzz rattled my concentration. Without looking I answered the call with nothing but a shaky breath.

“Baby,” a small tired voice came over the line.

I popped up still enwrapped in my cocoon. “Tommy! How did you get a hold of the phone?”

“Mom is asleep and Dad was feeling sorry for me. He told me not to let Mom know. Are you okay?” he asked in a soft sweet voice that told me he wanted nothing more than to hold me and stroke my back.

“I think you know the answer to that,” I said in a shaky voice.

“I know, but you’re the one who is good at comforting, not me. I’m not good at smoothing things out and telling you everything is going to be okay.”

I felt a blinding furry building up inside me. “It’s not fair! I am expected to deal with this! I mean first you drop the Big C, and it’s bad, real bad, then your mom starts keeping you away from me and that sort of gets resolved when you tell her off. But now! Now I am supposed to deal with the death of my baby sister! For God sakes, I can only take so much before I crumble in on myself and never come back from it! I am only so strong, d***it!” I broke out into loud breathy sobs. I cried so hard I slumped over on my side.

I heard muffled sobs coming from Tommy’s end and immediately guilt spread though me. It wasn’t his fault all this was happening. I mean some of it was actually happening to him. But I couldn’t help it, I had been holding in too much lately because he’s right I am so much better at comforting than he was. My lip wobbled. I tried forcing the words out, but nothing happened. I tried again and my throat constricted, all that came out was a choked sob. I wanted to tell him that it wasn’t his fault that I shouldn’t have snapped like that. I wanted to promise I would find someone else to rave to. But all of those words stuck in my throat like honey and all I could do was sob.

After a while Tommy broke in, “I’m so sorry, baby. I don’t want you to think that you upset me by yelling. I just didn’t know how upset you were until you swore. Baby, I’m so sorry. You know if I could change things I would.”

I smiled through my tears. That boy knew how to deflate me in two seconds flat. I drew in a ragged breath and asked, “What would you change.”

“I would change the fact that we ever met, that way when I became diagnosed with cancer it wouldn’t bother you. I would be just another teen tragedy. If you weren’t over at my house then Julie wouldn’t have sneaked out and stole the car. She could have just gotten you to drive her where she needed to go and wouldn’t have gotten in that wreck,” he said carefully calculated to leave as much emotion out of his voice as possible.

I felt like I had just been plowed into by a fifty ton train. “Do you regret being together?”

“No, but when you love someone this much, you don’t want to hurt them this bad. If I don’t make it.. through this you will have lost two people you loved in less than a year,” he gave a small choked sob before continuing, “I wouldn’t want to go through that so if I could keep you from experiencing it I wouldn’t have said ‘yes’ that day.”

My lip trembled and I wanted nothing more for him to gently brush his thumb against it and kiss me just as gently. “Please just tell me you aren’t breaking up with me, because I couldn’t handle that right now.”

“And do more damage? I may not be as smart as you, but I’m no idiot. I know how that ends up in all the movies. Plus, I am way too selfish to do that. I need you, Jay,” he said his tone starting out hard, but getting softer as he spoke.

I heard the muffled sound of a door creaking open on the other end and heard his other not quite shouting, but not using her normal tone. “Who are you talking to at one in the morning?” I could tell by her tone she already had an idea I was on the other end of the phone.

I clenched and unclenched my jaw while listening to their argument. I heard a little bit of a struggle, over control over the phone I’m assuming, and then I heard Tommy plea for her to at least let him say goodbye. I wanted to badly to shake the living day lights out of Mrs. Woods until she realized that Tommy and I were going to be together no matter what she said or did, but before I got the chance to voice those desires Tommy’s voice rang out over the line and this time he was speaking to me and not his crazy mom. “I’m sorry, baby; I love you more than anything. Until the end.”

I repeated his words, but the line went dead before he got the chance to hear them. I dropped my phone and drifted into an, unsettling, sleep thinking about the events of the past couple of days. My dreams were full of fights. I fought with Tommy, my mom, Tommy’s mom, and surprisingly, I fought with Julie. I don’t know what was worse, the fighting or my incessant replay of the semi smashing the car to pieces. They told me that she was dead on impact, but in my dreams she kept calling for me. Only every time I tried to get her someone kept getting in the way and I was always too late.

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Do you all hate me for the way I wrote this? I scared you all I bet. 

Votes and Comments for the scare and the timeliness of these past few chapters