Spoby and Sparia One Shots

Sometimes

Not mine...

Spencer Hastings sat in her bedroom, watching her best friend Aria struggle over a calculus problem. "This doesn't make sense," Aria huffed, and Spencer couldn't help the small smile that crept onto her face. Aria pouted, sending butterflies roaring into Spencer's belly, which the taller girl was able to suppress expertly, given that she had had plenty of time to practice. Spencer couldn't even remember the first time the butterflies appeared. She had given in to the fact that they were in her life, that Aria was in her life, and she would just have to deal with them. Maybe one day she would get up the courage to tell the smaller girl just how immensely Spencer felt for her… maybe, a voice inside her head suggested, that day could be today. The mere thought of it sent in another round of butterflies, along with a few nervous knots. She shook her head slightly, as if trying to clear it and focus on the struggling girl before her. "Alright," the smaller brunette said with a frustrated sigh, "I need a coffee break. Now." Her eyes locked on Spencer's for a moment before she crawled to the side of the bed and hopped off.

When Aria took her first sip of coffee, she moaned slightly, sending shots of electricity down the other girl's spine. Spencer was sitting on the couch, drinking coffee that was not even close to strong enough, and battling herself internally about telling Aria how she felt. Suddenly the smaller girl was next her, putting her feet up on the end table and letting out a long breath as she tilted her head back. Spencer was suddenly very aware of herself. She couldn't help but notice how close Aria actually was to her. She could feel every single place their bodies touched, and she was having a hard time controlling the butterflies. She looked up with a hopefully casual look on her face and noticed the smaller girl eyeing her curiously. Aria set her coffee down and pulled her legs onto the couch, folding them beneath her, Indian style. In this new position, she was fully facing Spencer, probing her with chocolate brown eyes.

"What's up with you, Spence? You haven't said a word all day, unless it was some crazy math term that I'll never know." The faintest of smiles ghosted over Spencer's lips, and as she moved to put down her coffee as well, Aria noticed that her hands were shaking. It had been a long time since she had seen Spencer so… so nervous? Jittery? Not-composed? Aria couldn't tell which word fit best, so she bit down on her lower lip and waited for the taller girl to begin speaking. Instead, Spencer took a sudden interest in the floor, not saying a word for a long time. Just as Aria was about to say something else, Spencer turned her head to look into the smaller girl's eyes, hoping for something she herself could not even discern. Suddenly, she spoke, her voice confident, stronger than Aria had expected to come out of this version of her best friend.

"I want to tell you something, but I feel like it would change things… between you and me… and I don't want things to change. I like them the way they are, thank you very much," she said, more to herself than to Aria, she guessed. She was looking into her lap again, and suddenly her voice was quiet, almost broken, "I don't want to lose you… as a friend, or anything." The smaller girl's heartbeat picked up, and she responded, placing a few fingers under Spencer's chin and turning it toward her,

"You couldn't lose me if you tried, Spence. Now come on, talk to me." She searched her best friends eyes, looking for an answer to all this confusion. What was going on? Spencer reached up to her face, taking Aria's small hand in her own, realizing that it might be the last time the smaller girl would allow her to do so, then again, she thought, it could be the first of many times, Spencer, just do it. She smiled sadly as she placed Aria's hand back on her own lap, taking a deep breath and preparing for the worst. She intertwined her trembling fingers and gazed down at the floor beneath her, remaining silent for a moment, debating the best way to go about it. After another deep breath, she pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her sinewy arms around them, never taking her eyes off the floor.

"Sometimes," she began, "When I'm around you, I get uncontrollable butterflies. Sometimes when I think about the way your voice sounds, my heart skips a beat. Sometimes when you touch me, it feels as if somebody just lit me on fire… In the best way." She added, realizing that could be taken the wrong way, "Sometimes when I imagine our future, I see you and me… together. Sometimes I think to myself 'Emily's the gay one, not you.' Sometimes when I think about you and Ezra, I put myself in his shoes, and I pretend that I'm the one who makes you so happy. Sometimes I wake up from nightmares, crying and sweating, heart racing, fingers trembling, and the very first person I want to call is you. Instead I just call Toby, because that's what everyone expects me to do… Sometimes…" she paused, a blush growing in her cheeks, her eyes trained on her twisting hands, "Sometimes, I get the urge to kiss you…" She took a deep breath, shaking uncontrollably. "Sometimes, Aria…" More deep breaths, "Sometimes, I think I'm in love with you." She finished slowly, trying to keep her breathing at a normal pace. She wanted so badly to look up. She wanted to see Aria's reaction, to se just how much damage she had done, but she couldn't do it. She sat, silent and motionless, for a long moment.

It was Aria who broke the silence. Choking back a sob, she managed, "Sometimes, Spence, I find myself imagining this very moment." Spencer's eyes shot up, focusing on the beautiful girl in front of her who was sporting a glowing smile and now-trembling hands. "Sometimes I wish it was you, and not Ezra. Sometimes I can't get you out of my head." She was squirming, fidgeting nervously next to the other girl, who sat like a statue, unable to move. Was she really hearing this? "Sometimes I never want to let go of you. Sometimes I realize that Ezra doesn't make me feel half the things that you do. Sometimes—" In about a half of a millisecond, Spencer had broken from her trance and flung herself across the couch toward the smaller girl. It took absolutely no time for their lips to find each other's