St. Cloud

Thunderstorms

Consistent conversations proceeded after the visit to the park. Gray and I got to know one another a lot better, we shared a few silly little secrets over the phone. We hadn't spent a lot of time together in person yet, but moments like that were yet to come, I was sure of it.

We were now in the month of August, which meant school was going to start back up again in a matter of weeks. My best friend had gotten accepted into another highly academic school program in Durham, two whole hours away from me. The school was partially like a college, because the students lived in dorms and they were only to come home for the holidays. 

I was happy for her, because this was an amazing opportunity for her. Success awaited her future now more than ever. So, I convinced her to accept the offer and I even helped to move her in. We decorated her dorm, hung up pictures on the walls of her room, and I took pictures every chance I got that day just like her mother did.

The goodbye was probably the hardest thing I ever had to do. Tears were shed, because for the first time in twelve years, we weren't going to be together.

For as long as I could remember, Mia was always on the other side of the classroom or right next to me in the halls of school. We'd do stupid stuff during class, like order pizza or throw paper balls with notes on them. At the same time though, we held each other up. Well more like she held me up. She always pushed me to take the harder classes, and when I struggled she'd help me out of the goodness of her heart. She would give me advice all the time, whenever I needed help to decide on what to do next with my life. She was always there. It was Mia and I against the world.

Thus, saying goodbye was just as scary as it was heartbreaking.

Sure we could call and text, but we both knew it wasn't going to be the same as just driving to each other's houses really quick or chatting during class.

We managed though. I left her campus with a heavy heart and I cried the whole way home. My mom tried to comfort me, but the pain in my heart wouldn't go away.

When school started I dreaded the halls and the classes. My best friend wasn't there, and as guilty as I am to admit this, I was almost angry with Mia. Not for the final decision she made to leave, but because I was alone. The only person I seemed to have was now hours away busy with other things. I forgot about my other friends, and I didn't have an interest in making new ones. I even pushed the Gray himself to the side. I just wasn't interested in anything or anyone.

Mia and I both felt it, everyday. Just like I said we would. It makes me think of a quote my english teacher told us the first day of our freshman year. "When I feel it, it's like I'm looking into the heart of an immense darkness."

My grades began to slip, and my homework was often left untouched. I allowed my self doubt to take over, and I began to believe I wasn't smart enough to do my classes on my own. School was hard, much harder than it ever was before.

Yet somehow, in the midst of my struggle, my eyes wandered through the crowded halls and landed upon Gray. A boy, who was at the back of my mind but slowly making his way forward. He texted me afterwards, telling me that everything was going to be okay. As crazy as I thought he sounded, his words calmed my heart and I spent that evening attempting my homework and actually trying. Who would've thought.

I found myself depending on Gray's words. As dangerous as it was, whatever he said stuck with me and I often found myself writing his words down on sticky notes too. He was the calm in the storm, so to speak.

Because school wasn't just school anymore. It became a massive thunderstorm of people who hated one another, tests that set students up to fail, and grades that sent us all on a downward spiral. It was storm I hated, and as cold and miserable as it seemed, Gray was the soft rain and calm amongst it all.

Believe it or not, things slowly began to get a lot better for both Mia and I. I didn't hate school as much as I did before, and Mia was exceeding in all her classes. Gray was at the forefront of my mind, and as the school year led into October, the thunderstorm was slowly ceasing and Gray became the source of the soft rain I began to look forward to everyday.

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