St. Cloud

souls

You see there was power in the concept of love.

For in the warmth of love, the soul can be itself. Its barricades can finally fall, releasing desire and yearning. Its shackles withholding an abundance of adoration can tenderly touch another's heart. It becomes wide awake and no longer in a coma of longing. In the warmth of love, the soul becomes free.

Thus, in the absence of love there is hate. The heartless people who claim to not need love? They're lying. They want so badly to be loved by someone who cares, yet they feel as though they don't deserve it. They feel as though they are incapable of being loved. They break their own hearts before someone else can. They kill their own souls before giving it the chance to live.

I cannot remember exactly the first time Gray's soul whispered to mine and gave it the kiss of life. Though he awakened it, and it hasn't slept since. Perhaps my soul returned the favor, because I can see a glimpse of freedom shining proudly behind his eyes that wasn't there before.

I felt different. Granted I still didn't love my life as much as I should, but I definitely woke up every morning with a new purpose. I wanted to see Gray all the time, everyday. I'm not sure if he felt the same, but there was a pull in my chest that ached to be with him. Even if it was only for a second.

You see my soul was set on fire, along with its awakening. It burned brightly for Gray and in a sense, it gave off the warmth of love that kept Gray away from the cold.

Gray then became the only thing on my mind. At school, I'd look for him in the halls and this time it wasn't weird because he was looking for me too. I'd have my phone at all times, in case he needed something or simply wanted to talk to me. After school I wanted to hang out, and if we couldn't hang out I wanted to call him to hear his voice. I was all about him.

Some would call it weird, some would call it an obsession. Others would say I experienced the absence of love for so long that when a glimpse of emotion was shared with my soul I clung on to it. My soul had a little taste of love and wanted more of it.

Whether or not this was healthy was yet to be determined.

You see when you need something so bad so often, it's like a drug. You can't function without it, and as blissful as it can make you feel, you have to cross your fingers that it doesn't kill you.

A soul on fire has the potential to burn out or burn brighter.

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