Embrace the Fall

The First Kiss

Baz

I don't want to fight anymore. I never wanted to fight in the first place, but it's easier to fight because I could never be friends with Simon Snow. I could never be just friends with Simon Snow so, as far as I'm concerned, Simon Snow is the opposite of my friend. Simon Snow is my nemesis. My heart aches. I'll just have to do something to dull the pain. 

By teatime, classes have just finished and Snow is at the table behind me in the sparsely populated dining hall, chatting up Bunce and Wellbelove and judging by his muffled words, making quick work of a plate of sour cherry scones. Dev and Nial are on either side of me snickering about the Minotaur being 'horny' or something like that while I give an unenthusiastic chuckle, which comes out as more of a scoff. The two eye me warily but say nothing. They're used to my moodiness and have learned just to give me my space. Eventually, they end up starting another conversation, leaning forward and over me so that I'm basically craning my neck backward which is very uncomfortable. I sigh and leave through the oversized wooden doors of the dining hall, walking the path back to Mummers house.

Snow was still completely absorbed in conversation the last time I checked, which gives me at least a good half-hour before he comes back to our room. I decide to get some of my homework done so that I can practise my violin and feed later without having to worry about anything else. Sometimes I wish the teachers would make it a bit more challenging. Half the assignments use skills I've known since I was twelve, which is nice when I'm busy, but not when I need a distraction. Also, what does it say about the teachers when their materials are so simple that I can get everything done in less than an hour all while thinking about how to stop thinking about goddam Simon Snow.

Simon

Pen and I are having tea and laughing at Dev's new haircut. The hair around his ears is shaved off in a way that makes them look bigger and pointier like fucking Mr. Spock. For some reason, we find it absolutely hysterical and can't stop giggling. I make the mistake or taking a sip of tea, which I end up snorting all over Penny's blouse, and she has to clean as a whistle it off. We've just transitioned into a conversation about the Humdrum (who's been eerily quiet so far this year) when Agatha walks up with a look that says she needs to talk to me. Her cheeks are more pink than usual and she seems nervous. I smile at her and she gives me a quick nod back, glancing between me and Penny like she isn't sure if she's interrupting, but I take a step toward her that says I'm all yours. She takes my hand and we walk out to the lawn. Agatha leads me to a large oak tree and sits down slowly, then gestures for me to do the same. I do. 

The weather at Watford is always perfect, but right now there's something about the way the sun is shining on Agatha's hair as it blows in the light breeze and she looks like an angel. 

"Simon," she says softly, "I think I'm ready." Agatha puts her hand on my cheek and leans toward me. Her lips slowly move in to meet mine and then we kiss. She tastes nice, like cinnamon. This doesn't feel exactly like some people say kissing is. I don't see stars or feel like my brain is going to explode, I just feel warm and safe. Agatha feels like home. 

We're still kissing and I carefully try to open up my mouth and slip her some tongue, because isn't that what a guy's supposed to do when he kisses a girl? Apparently not because in a split second, Agatha's hand is off my cheek and on my shoulder, pushing me away.

"Eew, Simon, you're so gross I kiss you one time and you have to ruin it like that. I know how a real kiss is supposed to feel like and that was not it." She stands up and stomps off, shaking her head as she goes.

I groan, throwing my head into my hands, and slump back further against the tree. Why can I do nothing right? I already can't do magick right, how am I supposed to save the world of mages if I can't even kiss my girlfriend without her storming off? I suddenly feel my magick well up in me and I have to take slow, shaky breaths until the roaring in my ears subsides and I feel the haze around me melting away.

*Sidenote: For all you shippers who may have thought the name of this chapter meant something it didn't, you were trolled(ish). Take it like a champ and know that what we are all looking forward to is in the works. And yes I know that hardly anyone has read this fic and that "all" is a bit hopeful but ya know what? I'M A HOPEFUL PERSON. SUE ME.