It had to be me [Thiam]

Why me?

Why me? Why am I the person they gave this much attention?

Attention. It sounds positive if you put it that way. Tell that to my bruises. Pretty sure they'll think differently, just like my broken arm and ribs.


'It could have been anyone, Theo'. Sure, it could have been anyone, but it wasn't anyone, it was me. I was the chosen one! The one that had the privilege to be beaten. Four against one isn't the fairest fight I've ever been in. 'It was nothing personal'. No, maybe it wasn't something personal; I don't remember their faces. But does that make it any less of a crime? 'Mental pain is far worse than physical pain'. Great, really. As if I didn't already know. Because what hurt the most about all this is that it wasn't something impersonal. It was personal. It was an attack on who I am. It was no coincidence that they were waiting there for me. They knew. They saw. And I saw them, only a little too late. I must have made a lot of noise, because I saw Liam suddenly standing there, looking at me, disbelieve in his eyes.


I'm still not quite sure what happened after that. Neither am I sure what has happened during those minutes: I didn't even know how long it had taken before Liam arrived there, but I've been told it took him five minutes to find me, but he waited to do something until after he called the cops. My dad called him a coward, according to him he should have jumped in and helped me sooner. I think my dad's an idiot, because I was already practically down and that would mean Liam would have suffered the same fate as I had, or even worse. Liam did the right thing and he's the reason I'm still alive. Liam kept his head cool and did the smart thing.


There are still so many things I don't understand, but the doctor says it might be better this way. Not remembering what they said. Not remembering the pain I suffered. Well, thanks, head, for protecting me against my own memories. There's only a teeny tiny problem: I don't remember what they looked like. Only vague flashes. One of several men standing in the dark, hood's over their faces. Next flash: several people kicking me. Third flash: seeing Liam standing there at the corner of the street, calling. It was dark, but I'll always recognize him. Always. Fourth flash: Liam coming at me, running, screaming. Last flash: I'm hearing sirens, I see several men running away and Liam crawling over to me, his lip bleeding. He holds my head in his arms, softly saying that he's sorry.


That's all I can remember. At least, for now. My memories might return later according to the doctor, but they might also be gone forever. Once again: great, head. Liam hasn't seen their faces. He immediately got kicked in his face (my hero). After that they apparently ran away because of the cops approaching.


'It was nothing personal'. Maybe not. Maybe it was really personal. I don't know. Luckily everyone is aware of my freaking amnesia already, so just in case it was someone close to me, they can just keep their act up. I'm getting so suspicious of everyone, that I don't even know if I can trust Liam anymore..