Treehouse Talks

1- Infamous and Ever-growing Dick Door

"Good afternoon Miss Violet" the intrusive bald man who probably cries himself to sleep every night waved to me.

I couldn't help but mutter under my breath, "Oh screw off Mr. Ballguls."

If I really wanted to annoy him, I could always ask him about the weird oger tattoo on his leg, but I think I handled it just fine. A kid once made him cry once in class by asking about that. Maybe you should rethink your life decisions before getting a blue oger inked on your upper left thigh. You know, just a thought...

I have to admit the new set of male genitalia was a nice touch to the ever-growing collection on his door. This time in a bright red spray paint. It overlapped a similar one done in purple, which had obviously been scratched off in an attempt to preserve the original black painted steel on the door.

Oh Mr. Ballgul and his infamous dick door.

I'm fairly certain they had a board meeting just to discuss if they should continue funding for him to get his door replaced or repainted every time it happens. With all the overlapping dicks we all know what the verdict was.

Welcome to American public schools!

I left the courtyard and felt an odd relief fill my veins. That was the last bell, I was free of the shackles of high school.

Well, for two months...

As I walked out to the football field I was greeted by a fun sight.

And by fun, I mean a sight that made me consider homicide.

My best friend, sucking face with someone who she said "she was over "and "totally broke up with last week."

Essentially I was going to murder Lee Caple.

Look, I'm not a murderous person (despite making several previous comments about it) I would never actually do it.

But it's the last day of junior year, why would I not kill someone? If any chance this is it.

Lee in my view, a pipe from the nearest water system, just begging for me to remove it from it's weak and rusting position, and those two things colliding.

Granted Isabelle gets out of the way first. Wouldn't want to her "perfect face" to be ruined.

Sorry I might want to slightly damage a cheekbone, nothing too permanent. Maybe a small bruise, so she'll be forced to wear makeup. She's too pretty, it's not fair. Sue me!

My hands clenched at my sides as I attempted to walk past their exchange of bodily fluids but I was caught short by a gasp and Isabelle turning to me and smiling. Her hand was still placed on Lee's shoulder. He ruffled his dark brown hair into a pretentious mess and reached out his hand to, I don't know, touch my arm.

My eyes snapped up to his narrow ones and I scowled. "Touch me and I'll break your fingers."

His hand shot up in surrender. I pulled my friend out of his grasp. "Touch Iz again and I'll personally make your summer a living hell. Lucifer has risen and you're looking straight at his reincarnation."

I looked into his narrow dark eyes and scowled. "Great. Bye Lee. See you hopefully never again." My fingers shot out and grabbed Isabella's wrist to drag her away.

 As soon as we reached the grass she stomped her foot in protest, "Satan reincarnate? What the heck Violet?"

"As much as I'd love for you to get some dick, we are in a major crisis."