Camila's POV
I don't know if I did something wrong or maybe its just me in general. I thought about how I asked and you said yes, raising my hope only to have you later say no. It was kind of expected, it was really a surprise to have had you said yes in the first place. I waited all day for class to be over and right when it was about to end you send me a text. I think my friends noticed the look on my face because they peered over my shoulder and patted me on the back. I decided to go with them because of our cancelled plans which you promised we could do later to find you with him. I still wonder if it was me or if it was something I did. I would have rather have had you tell me the truth than hide it. It would have broken my heart but not as much as this.
Maybe its because we come from different worlds and its true. You were born into wealth while my parents struggled to make it through each year. It may be that you're a lot more popular than I am. It could be that you're a hundred times more beautiful than I'll ever be. Maybe the biggest difference is that you're not who I thought you would be.
I thought that those things wouldn't matter to you. I thought that maybe nothing would matter except how I feel about you. I saw you walking in the hallways and it was like confidence radiated off of you but I knew it wasn't true. I saw you when you thought no one was looking. How your eyes would go in a deep sadness when you thought you messed up. Those green eyes of yours would help me see how in the inside you wanted to give the image of perfection but you never truly believed you were perfect. The look you would have every time you looked in a mirror. The look that would tell me you felt ugly in so many ways. I confidence was never your strong suit and maybe thats why you felt the need to be perfect because no one pressured you but yourself.
You felt bad when you had to get a tutor because you didn't understand precalculus but I think that it was the best thing to happen to me. I was able to finally talk to you well after I got over my nervous. You weren't doing bad but you didn't want to have a B in the class, you wanted an A. I knew you would look so down on yourself whenever you got one wrong, like if it was the worst thing in the world. Thats when I most noticed you lacked confidence. Thats why I made it my goal to help you raise your confidence. Every time I saw you look down on yourself I would tell you to have confidence and it always brought a smile to your face.
Thats where the idea came from. I knew it was a stupid idea but I'm not the type that thinks things through most of the time. The idea was a bet, a bet I knew I wouldn't lose. I told you that if you got an A on your next test I would buy you whatever you wanted from the local dinner. You said it was a deal and the next day you came with a smile on your face and told me I owed you food. I smiled at the thought congratulating you. I couldn't believe it had gone the way I expected. It wasn't till the next day when we were to go that you send me a text saying you couldn't make it. That you had to take your younger sister to practice.
I guess I knew in my heart that it was too good to be true. I expected it to be true, I so desperately wanted it to be true. For someone who lacks a lot of confidence, you can have a lot of gut.
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"Camila!" I turn to her. Even with the tears blurring my vision and the tears streaming down my cheek I can tell its her. I could tell it's her by the caring green eyes staring down at me. I shouldn't say caring because if she was, she wouldn't have hurt me like this.
"It's alright you don't have to say anything." I tell her with a croak in my voice. Even when I was breaking down I couldn't possibly be mad at her.
"No, I do. I just.... I'm sorry. I'm a complete idiot. I should have just told you the truth."
"I just want to know one thing Lauren. Why? Why would you do this to me?"
"I just...I'm just...I'm just not confident in myself."
"What does confidence have to do with this?"
"I...I.... I can't believe I'm going to say this but I really like you Camila." I felt my heart beat out of my chest but I knew that it could be a lie.
"Really cause you have a funny way of showing it."
"I know and I'm sorry."
"You lied to me Lauren. I wasn't so upset that you couldn't go but you came with him."
"Camila listen to me. I have never been as confident as I wanted to be. I always think a lot before I do something that could be risky. I just don't know if I can face people if they start talking about us. I really like you but I don't know how I'm going to do it. I can't have people giving me weird looks or whispering behind my back. I'm not the type to face that." She said with tears beginning to fall. I looked her in the eyes and I could see the sadness. I could see the distress and the guilt, I knew that she was telling me the truth.
"Lauren listen." She looked at me with tear filled eyes. "You need to start believing in yourself like I believe in you. You need to realize that you're a beautiful human being that cares a lot about other people. You need to see what's not only on the outside but the inside."
"How am I suppose to be able to do that?"
"Confidence." I said. She smiled back at me.
"Confidence."
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I updated because I have had too many feeling that I needed to write down. I hope you like this one shot and you should send me ideas of one shots to do, I will do any pairing of the girls with anyone. -S
