Camila’s POV
“The test results have come in and I’m sorry to inform you but the tumor has spread and theres not much we can do at this stage except continue with treatment to slow it down its growth.” No, no, no, no. This really can’t be happening right now. “Do you have any questions Mrs.Jauregui?”
“How long do I have left?”
“At best I’d say five or six months.” The doctor said. I felt the tears begin to stream down my face. “I’ll leave, to give you both some privacy.” The doctor said before leaving me and Lauren alone. I looked at her sitting on the bed in the doctor’s office. She looked completely calm, which worried me even more. I waited for her reaction but nothing came. No tears, no panic, no anger, she just sat there looking out in front of her and I started to wish the I could see what was going on in her head.
“Lauren?” I tried to say in a loud voice but came out as a whisper. She turned to look at me and a look of guilt flashed through her face. She got off the bed and walked towards me. She started wiping the tears off my face.
“Camila, I’m sorry.” Sorry? Why was she sorry? She looks so calm, isn’t this suppose to be the other way around? I was suppose to be the one comforting her.
“You have no reason to be sorry. I know these things happen and it’s in no way your fault.”
“Yes, it is. I could have fought harder but truthfully, I’m not scared at all. Ever since I got diagnosed with this tumor, I’ve done a lot of thinking and I’ve lived a good life. I’ve grown, learned, loved, and I got to make so many memories with you that it was a life well lived. If I die tomorrow I would die happy because when we were four years old we met and became best friends. We have had twenty four years together and I wish we had more but I’m grateful for those years because some people don’t even get that much time with their soul mate. I’m sorry for being selfish and not thinking of how my death would affect you. I’m sorry for not fighting harder, and I’m sorry for leaving you.” Tears had filled her eyes and mine hadn’t stopped and I think they had began to fall harder.
“Lauren, I want to be mad but I realize that I don’t have time to be mad and we have to make this time worth it.” She smiled at me.
“Camila before we go, while we’re on the subject, I need you to promise me one thing.”
“Anything.”
“Promise me that you’ll move on. That you’ll try to find love again.” I let her word sink in. I couldn’t ever imagine being with anyone other than Lauren. She was my soul mate, she was the love of my life.
“Lauren, I don’t know if I can do that.”
“Camila, just promise me.”
“Fine, I promise.”
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I woke up, to find Lauren still sleeping besides me. I got up from the bed, going to the kitchen. I decided to make Lauren some breakfast in bed. I made her favorite scrambled eggs, bacon, and strawberries. I brought the plate next to her and began to shake her.
“Laur.” I say. Something was wrong. She felt too cold and then I realized that I couldn’t hear her breathing. “Lauren.” I yelled. The tears beginning to stream down my face. “Lauren, please wake up.” No, not today. “Lauren.” I screamed frustrated. After that I broke down. After that everything passed in a blur, Normani coming in, the coroner taking her body away, the rest of our friends arriving trying to calm me down but the tears came coming. Normani and Ally said they would make all the arrangements. I wanted to say that I would do it, but my mouth wouldn’t produce a sound except for the sobs. Dinah had removed me from the bedroom and settled me in the guest room. I cried against her chest for the rest of the day, while she played with my hair. She didn’t try to talk to me which I was thankful for because I wouldn’t be able to even if I wanted. Days began to past and before I knew it I was at her funeral. It was a closed casket which had been her wish, since she didn’t want to have anyone see her. I now wish I had convince her otherwise because all I wanted to do at this moment was see her face one last time.
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Getting up has always been the hardest thing to do during the day. I felt broken. I heard my alarm ringing but I couldn’t move. I had been staying in the guest room for the last three months. I only went into the bedroom for clothes and every time I went in there, I would break down. Now, most my clothes were here and so were most my clothes. I finally turn off my alarm to get ready for the day. Time seemed to be moving slowly these last three months, and there have been times where it physically hurts to get up. I hate waking up and not feeling Lauren’s presence besides me. Turning and waking up without seeing her green eyes looking at me. One of the things I miss most is that everyday as soon as we both woke up she would kiss me either on my forehead or on my lips. She would smile, say good morning and finally get up. She would get in the shower while I cooked us both breakfast. She would get ready and go downstairs where we both ate and talked till she left for work. I would then proceed to get ready and go to work.
I also miss her random text messages. Whenever she could she would send me a text message saying that she loved me or to remind me that I was beautiful. Now whenever I get a text while I’m at work, I always secretly hope that its from her even though I know it never is.
The second hardest part of my day is getting home. She used to have dinner waiting and ready. I would get home, she would give me a welcome kiss, and we would sit down to eat. We would talk about our day. She would clear the table and I would wash the dishes. For the rest of the night we would cuddle on the couch and watch a t.v. or a movie or read a book before going to bed. There were times where she would read to me and now I miss the sound of her voice as she read.
Sundays are now the hardest days. We got up later and I was usually the first one and those were the times where I could look at how peaceful she was as she slept. When she woke up we would stay a while longer than usual in bed neither wanting to get up. we would then continue as every other day except I would shower while she made chocolate chip pancakes. It had been a tradition of ours as kids to have pancakes for breakfast every sunday and we liked to continue it. After breakfast she would shower while I cleaned up. After we would go out on walks or a park, it was always a relaxing day. Lauren and I always enjoyed talking with each other and we never ran out of things to talk about. I loved learning how her mind worked and how she thought. She had one of the most beautiful minds in the world. It was my favorite thing about her.
Now today was sunday and I was having trouble getting up. When I was finally able to, I got in the shower. After I made myself pancakes and ate alone. I cleared the table and washed the dishes. I went out to buy groceries for the week and went to the park. I sit on a bench, feeding the birds. I look up and see the kids playing and I feel myself about to cry. Lauren and I had wanted kids but we were waiting and now I felt stupid for doing so because I would have wished she leaved a mini Lauren, and so maybe I wouldn’t be so alone.
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Its been a year and four months and I feel like things are getting easier. I was finally able to go back into the bedroom. I made the bed that had been left alone for so long. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep in there anytime soon but I see it as a start. Its a sunday and I invite Normani, Dinah, and Ally over to have some pancakes because I’m tired of feeling so alone. Normani suggest we go to the mall and I oblige. I have a nice day out with them, it had been a while since I had seen them because they had always reminded me of the times all five of us would hang out. Once I get home I realize I have to go grocery shopping. I go to the regular store going up and down every aisle getting what I need. As I get to the check out, another cart bumps into mine.
“I’m so sorry.” I look to see a women about my age, maybe older but shes beautiful.
“It’s alright, my fault for not looking.” I say and I’m feeling nervous for some reason. “I’m Camila.” I continue.
“Ariana.” She says back. I smile at her and for the first time in months I realize that I still had a promise to keep.
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Hello, thanks for reading. I'm happy someone finally requested me to write something and here it is. I hope you meant camren if not I'm sorry. Again I accept request for storylines and stuff and different pairing if you like, I'll write the pairing on the title. Hope you like this and that it's what you wanted. -S
