100 Miles and Running

TheGreatEscape

I was surprised I had let Colson touch my body. But was I? I trusted him. We had been friends for over 4 years at this point. It was just so natural with him. Why would I be surprised, though? Well we have to go back to October, 5 months earlier, the 12th to be exact.

I was best friends with Lily at the time. She's the one who abandoned me because I was depressed. But at the time we were as close as two friends could be. We had a regular Friday dinner date, I spent many nights at her house, we were just inseparable. That afternoon we talked about hanging out, and since she was on my side of town already, she picked me up so I wouldn't have to drive to the north side and waste gas. There isn't much to do in this town: eat, drugs, drinking. We decided around 8:30 that we wanted to get drunk, but we had to hurry because the liquor store closed in 30 minutes. I convinced her when we got there that we needed a jar of moonshine. That was my moonshine year. I drank it all the time.

We got back to the house, started doing shots and listening to music. When we were on the porch smoking, she threw up everywhere. She only had 5 shots though. What a lightweight. After we hosed off the porch, we headed inside to watch a movie.

Lily was living with her boyfriend, Dominic. He and I were really good friends because they had been dating for about 2 years, and the three of us hung out together all the time. We were good enough friends that we hung out without her sometimes. It wasn't weird though. Like Robin and Marshall in How I Met Your Mother, we were totally platonic pals. Or so I thought.

Not very long into the movie, somewhere around midnight, Lily was really feeling those shots. She passed out on the bed in the fetal position. Dominic helped me straighten her out and cover her up. The usual arrangement when I stayed the night was that Lily and I slept in their bed, and Dominic took the couch or slept in the spare room. He was always very nice about it. He would often say that he loved that Lily had me around because I was a true friend, and no one else cared about her like I did.

Dominic went to the other room. I turned the TV off and laid down next to Lily. I wasn't sleepy, but I was physically drained. At some point soon after, Dominic came back into the room.

I only had 6 shots that night. I usually take about 15 in a night, so I wasn't really feeling much of their effect. I know I wasn't drunk and imagining things.

Dominic crawled into the bed between her and I. I didn't think much of it. He had his back to me and his arms around her. It only took a few minutes for things to change. He rolled over and wrapped his arm around me. I was uncomfortable, but I thought I'd just wait it out and he'd move again. He didn't move the way I expected. The tension in my stomach was building. I felt a hand run down my back. Please stop. I was wearing leggings, as I usually am. This hand, that I never wanted to touch my body, pushed past my waistband and into my pants. It was probably about 4 seconds, but it felt like an eternity in hell. He ran his hand around my ass and started to squeeze. I rolled off the bed, grabbing my phone, and ran to the bathroom down the hall.

I didn't want to call anyone because what if he heard me on the phone? I could only think of one friend awake at 12:30 am. I typed in a frenzy, begging for a ride away from this place. I wished more than anything that I had chosen to drive myself there. I snuck out of the bathroom, shoving my belongings into the bag I brought with me, and ran out the front door. The north side of town isn't the safest, but I would rather have been in a bad neighborhood alone, than in that house any longer. Dominic texted me a couple minutes later asking where I had gone. Obviously he had a clear head. Krystal and her fiancé showed up soon after. I climbed into the car, almost in tears but more horrified than anything. They took me to their apartment, where I spent the night.

It was a scarring experience. Some have argued that it wasn't that bad, or I'm just overreacting. But Dominic was like family, a brother to me. How would you feel if your brother had his hand down your pants, groping at your bare ass? It's sickening.

The next morning Lily texted me in a panic, and I explained to her what happened. She came to Krystal's apartment and we talked about everything. I had high hopes. She was talking about how she couldn't trust him and she didn't want to go home. She was getting ready to break up with him.

A few weeks later I had a meltdown. A nurse from work took me to be evaluated because I was saying some very serious things about taking my own life. This meltdown wasn't related to the assault, but they happened in the same month. When they evaluated me, they said they wanted to admit me for observation. I didn't feel safe going home, so I said okay.

If you've never been locked up in a psych unit, you're lucky. It's depressing beyond belief. You get a twin sized mattress that just feels like a yoga mat on a wooden slab. They watch every move you make. Every door is opened with a special key, even the elevators. The food is bland, the TV is always controlled by the person who throws the biggest fit, and group therapy is a joke. I wanted to go home the morning after I got there. I called my mom from the phone on the wall, so old that you could barely hear the person on the other end. I cried to her everyday to please get me out.

They kept me for 6 days. When I got out I went home, showered, and laid in my bed with the cell phone I didn't get to touch for the last week. Shortly after that Lily said she didn't want to be friends anymore. She didn't give an explanation until about 6 months later. She just disappeared.

Lily is still with Dominic.