Red and Gray

The End of Twilight

His name was Scott.

Her asshole ex, that is. The inevitable catalyst in the shitstorm. Unconsciously, Red rubbed her arm, where the bruises had been. But even then, she hadn't been this scared.

And on this spot where she'd first let someone inside the Poe's maelstrom that is her mind, she was terrified, all over again. And hating herself all over again for being terrified. Of Gray, of all people. Of his reaction. Of his rejection.

Of her screwing up.

She could accept a lot of things, she's been through more crap than the average person, but she knew instinctively that this would destroy her.

So Red just leaned into him, against him, and breathed him in.  All the while her heart was beating wildly, begging him to stop - to go on? Damn it, where had all her certainties gone?

"Don't," she begged, but she knew it didn't sound that way. 

Let's just stay like this, she'd said. That was four years ago when they'd first met. And, until now, that sentence still describes their friendship.

She knew why she wanted to start dating other people - because she didn't want to give Gray the opportunity or - God forbid - the satisfaction of being able to hurt her. But why would Gray be satisfied in knowing that he could hurt her? Perhaps that's how fucked-up she's gotten. Thinking everyone wanted to hurt her. Even the guy she's in love with.

But why the hell had she chosen Scott? Even then, she knew it was stupid. But she went ahead and did it anyway - and regrets it gracefully to this day. Well, not exactly gracefully. All the broken glass and scarred trees in their background attest to that.

Instead, she lifted her head from Gray's shoulder and saw that night was slowly falling. Swathes of scarlet were stroking the blue away, dyeing the sky orange and yellow. The sun was fading. There was nothing left to see.

Was there nothing left to see?

"We should probably head back inside," she said, refusing to look at him. "I think that's Dee's car pulling in."

"No," he said, so forcefully and swiftly that he must have blurted it without a thought, and she flinched. "You can't - " Leave it like this. Leave us like this. She thought the words with a jolt.

Headlights and the purr of an engine flashed through the front of the house, followed by the slam of a car door and the jangle of keys. And then a shout. "Red! I see you up there! Get your skinny ass down here right now or I'm blasting you with a hose!"

Gray looked at her, wide-eyed. She shrugged. "Pregnant women are moody. Can't say I blame them." She stood up, gathered the trash, and climbed down.

"Hold up," Gray began when they were back in her bedroom. He was shaking his head like he was trying to get rid of the bee in his bonnet. "What the hell is going on?" His eyes searched her for an explanation. She hated knowing she owed him a big one. 

Red closed the window cautiously. "Look, Dee's the only family I've got. Plus, Frank used to play in this punk rock band, and it turns out we both like the same music. And after all that's happened, I just really needed someone to pat me on the back while I sobbed my guts out. In a very undignified and embarrassing manner." They were there for me when you weren't.

Gray was breathing heavily. "We are not done talking about this."

"And we never will be," she finished, and he closed his mouth. "Come on downstairs. Maybe Dee's got cookies."

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