Mental [Ereri/Riren]

cнapт3r 0ne

Chapt3r 0ne
Attempt
Trigger Warning:
Suicide
Blood

Ξ

The air was cold as Levi opened the pill bottles, held captive by the bathroom across the hall from his room. His shaking body seemed to falter as he poored the contents of the first orange plastic bottle in his hands. Putting them all in his mouth, he struggled to swallow. When he did, he moved on to the next.

All he could think about was how much better things would be when he was gone; how easy it is to die. He had one goal, and one goal only. He wanted to disappear.

No matter how many times his friends had welcomed him with open arms, their words did nothing to sway his sadness. It did nothing but add to it, because he'd always known that there was no getting better. The voices in his head spoke louder than theirs, and in this moment it was all that Levi heard.

He was thinking about the tears in his eyes, on his shirt, his face, his neck. He wanted them off. He was going through the bottles, swallowing each pill as if death was the end of a school year. Reaching as if he was too short to succeed.

He did though, and soon enough he had swallowed every pill in the bathroom. His vision was hazy, a blinding headache seemingly gifting him with the heavy pressure in his eyes. His stomach hurt like hell, gargling and twisting like it didn't know what to do with itself.

He focused on the floor, where he could still see the blood on his wrist. It wasn't until his blade couldn't go deep enough that he decided to give up entirely and reach for the cabinet. It was safe to say that he wasn't regretting his decision in this moment, despite the searing pain in his head and stomach. He lay in the dry bathtub, leaning his head back and smiling through the pain. 'Finally' he thought to himself.

That's when it all went black.

Ξ

Hospitals were Levi's least favorite place in this minute, because it meant he wasn't dead yet.

He woke up to a bright light in his eyes, only to awaken fully to see the hospital ceiling. Next, he saw his mother, hands over her mouth, sobbing as she looked at Levi, bags under her eyes. She didn't move, she only cried as Levi sat up more and rubbed his eyes. Next to his mother was his sister, Mikasa. She sat slouched, head on her hand as she snored quietly in the white hospital chair. It was then that Levi looked at the clock, only to find that it was six-thirty in the morning. Wonderful.

He didn't notice he was being spoken to until he saw his mother rose from her chair to lean over him.

"Ravialle, honey, are you alright?" Kuchel said, both hands on either side of her son's cheeks.

"Yeah, I'm okay." He lied. She broke down, and it took all of Levi's strength not to back away as she leaned her tearstained face on his shoulder.

His stomach was still incredibly sore. and his head felt no mercy as it pounded in his skull.

Suddenly, the door to his hospital room was opened, revealing a tall woman. She has light brown eyes, the color of rust. Her shoulder length brown hair was pulled into a high pony tail, leaving several ear piercings showing on each side of her face.

"Hello, Ms. Ackerman. Levi, how are you feeling?" she asked. Levi simply observed the bright glare on her glasses as she pulled a small notepad from her coat pocket, along with a pen.

"I'm doing as good as expected, considering I'm in a hospital room." Levi answered, sitting up with a small hiss from his dehydrated mouth.

"Yes, I guess you could say that." The doctor chuckled.

"So, Mrs. Zoe, when can I leave?" Levi asked the woman, reading her name tag.

"That's actually what I came to talk with you both about. Ms. Ackerman, can I see you outside for a moment?" His mother nodded, and they both walked out, closing the large door behind them.

Mikasa stirred awake, stretching in her chair. Her eyelids fluttered open to reveal the icy blue irises hidden below. She seemed to wake up fully when she saw Levi, and almost sprung out of her chair. When she reached him, she pulled him into her arms, soon realizing his condition and loosening her grip. She stood straight beside his bed now, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Hey, Levi." She smiled, the saddest he'd ever seen her look.

"Hey Mikasa." Levi responded, offering her the most sincere - yet insincere smile he'd ever managed.

"I-" she paused, seeming to shake thoughts out of her head. "I won't pester you about what happened. What matters is that you're safe."

"Yeah." Levi said, not managing anything but simple responses. Mikasa moved to sit down once again.

Levi jumped as the heavy door to his room was swung open. Mrs. Zoe entered first. His mother followed before moving across the room to sit with Mikasa.

"Levi, we have an important topic to discuss." She said, nodding. He could see the pity in her eyes, and hear it in her voice. "Because of the circumstances upon which you've arrived here, we're under the obligation to alert the police. This means that you will receive phyciatric help."

Levi responded quickly, clearly. "And if I don't want it?" His voice seemed to be made of stone.

"I'm afraid that isn't your choice until you're eighteen, in this situation." Levi was visibly excausted by the idea of a therapist. "We're not asking you to stay forever, just until they know you're stable."

"Stay? Stay where?" Levi asked, the panic setting in.

"Levi, we're sending you to Sina." She placed a hand on his shoulder. "I know this is a lot to handle, but they're going to take good care of you." Levi looked to his mother, the shock painted on his face. She broke down, sniffling as Mikasa gently rested a hand on her arm.

You have until tomorrow morning, that's when they'll be here to transfer you. I'll give you three some time alone. I'll see you tommorow, Levi." She said before leaving the room, closing the door behind her.

Levi didn't cry. He stared into space as his mother and sister mourned the death of the Levi they used to know; the Levi that wasn't being sent to Sina Mental Institution.