BedTime Horrors...

Inquisitor Dawkins

"Confess, petulant sinner! Confess your crimes against Uncle Sam and be freed of the greed that binds your soul!" Inquisitor Caroline Dawkins bellowed, holding said sinner's falsified Ten-Forty Tax Form in her right hand. Each falsehood glowed a bright scarlet, an undeniable mark of the sinner's misdeeds.

Said sinner, an overweight middle-aged middle manager named Larry O'Connor, struggled futilely against the metaphysical Chains binding his entire body from head to toe. Like many others, Larry had dared to committed blasphemy against the Internal Revenue Service by lying about last year's income, thereby paying less than what he should have. For that crime, they'd dispatched Dawkins to find out how much he truly owed

"It's gotta be a mistake! I reported everytheeeeeeee...." was all Larry could manage before the golden Chains tightened their merciless grip, constricting hard enough to drive the air from his lungs. Normally Dawkins wouldn't have gone this far, but Larry repeated shenanigans necessitated it.

Dawkins pulled hard on the Chain, dragging the man across the floor until he laid face up at the Inquisitor's feet. "The Chains of Honest Obligation are not so easily fooled, heathen! It's deep seated magic knows you're trying to lie! Tell me the truth, or by Lincoln's beard I will drag you and everyone you love before the Auditors themselves!"

Larry's face went white at the mere thought of being at the non-existent mercy of those inhuman monsters and their cruel and barbaric witchcraft. The tales the survivors told of the creative ways Auditor's could extract what was owed... "Please! Don't! My family... you can't!" Larry begged.

"What did you expect?" Dawkins coldly replied, Larry's plea falling on deaf ears. "You committed the sins of Pride and Greed when you stole from them, and now you're reaping what you have sown! What mediation can I make if you refuse to repent and pay penance? The Forms must be correct. You will pay your fair share. And if I can't get you to do it willingly..." She let the implied threat of the Auditors linger in the air, letting Larry's vivid imagination do the job for her.

Larry quickly confessed his financial sins. He was greedy, not insane.

As he admitted his financial deceptions to the Inquisitor, the erroneous amounts on the Tax Form transformed of their own volition. With each hidden profit brought to light, values were transmuted as new figures were added to the calculations. Soon, the last correction was made, every scarlet falsehood becoming a more truthful and pure green.

The Chains quickly fell slack, the truth having set Larry free. Dawkins held out her hand to help Jimmy up. "You must still make restitution. But praise be to Uncle Sam, for He is merciful indeed. Come to the Temple tomorrow, and we may discuss your path of absolution."

Larry took the woman's hand, not even dreaming of wasting this second chance. He knew if he didn't show up tomorrow, the Inquisitor wouldn't bother with a third.

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-Crimson