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E T H A N
"Apparently we've been forced into a double date by our best friends. Can't say I'm complaining though. I'll pick you up at 5pm on Monday." I read the message out loud, pronouncing every word slowly. As I'm clenching my jaw, I try to take in the words on the screen from an unknown person.
Now, who the hell is this? And why would Lexi do such thing?
Even the idea of Brooklyn agreeing to a date bothers me tremendously, let alone her going and maybe even having a good time. I don't care if that makes me selfish or toxic, I genuinely don't want another member of the male species to be her source of happiness.
I know scumbag Reed has something for her too, it's obvious. It annoys me but it doesn't make me worry at all. He doesn't stand a chance.
Brooklyn starts coughing after I've read the message out loud and covers her mouth with her hand. My eyes fall upon it and I think back to a minute ago when I was slowly rubbing the back of her hand. The moment I felt something I'm sure I haven't felt before.
Normally, girls don't have any effect on me. Sure, I always felt sexually attracted to them, but once I got what I wanted, I didn't crave any other intellectual depth in them. I know I was an asshole for that, but I justified it by telling myself they knew what they were getting into. They knew I didn't do relationships. I didn't want any of that. Commitment was everything I'd ran away from.
That was until Brooklyn.
I hate to admit it, but Brooklyn makes me feel things. I hate it because it makes me extremely vulnerable. Do I let her in, completely? Do I show her all of my ugly sides? Will she like me through all that?
It's not that Brooklyn is worth more than any of those other girls. They all have the same values and should all be appreciated. However, the Ethan from years ago just didn't see that.
I finally understand how I should have treated them, but didn't. All because of my own insecurities.
The worst part was that I didn't only upset the girls. My mom was always so disappointed in me, telling me I should treat women with more respect, like how I'd want my mother and sister to be treated. At the time, I'd shrug it off, not realizing how much my family was worth. I did love them, but not enough.
A fish doesn't get the importance of water until it's out of it, like my grandmother would always tell me.
I didn't see how much my mother loved me through it all. She put up with all of my shit, and I thought I was the one taking care of them. Now that I've had three years to review myself, I realize how wrong I was.
When Brooklyn came in here, I felt myself changing even more. I don't think she's aware of it, yet. At first, she just seemed so nice, too nice to me and all the other detainees. We weren't just clients, we were human beings of value to her and she tried to help us.
