Mental Institution, N27.

16

After a few weeks from my conversation with Louis and Mark, I felt so numb and I had headache nearly everyday. I was thinking way too much and I still couldn't understand why, why did that happen? Why is it happening? Why is my dad doing this?

I haven't stepped foot into the hospital ever since the day I came back from Louis' house. I went back to the hospital but before I could actually get in there I felt a pang of guilt and hurt in my heart, I couldn't face Zayn after what I found out, I couldn't face my father and handle him hurting everyone, I couldn't handle looking at the patients who I protected ever since I worked there getting weaker and weaker everday while there is nothing I can do about it, It was slowly killing me.

My heart was already broken by losing my mother and when I tried to stick the broken pieces together, Zayn came and I felt as If I can really do it, he made me happy in way too many ways. He completed me and I thought that I completed him too but I was wrong, my face is what completed him because all he saw was Angeline.

And as If all of these things weren't enough, my father played a sick game behind my back. For once I was glad about one decision that I took, I move out of his house when my mother passed away. If I was still living there I don't know what I would've done. I probably would've been fighting with him everyday, hoping he'd stop but I know he wouldn't stop. He's obsessed.

It's been exactly three weeks, I only go out of my house when I need some fresh air or if I'm out of food but last week I opened Zayn's journal again and the first thing I saw was her picture again. I stood in the mirror and compared myself to her even though there was no difference I still found her more beautiful, her long chocolate hair and her tanned skin brought out her blue eyes that matched mine.

It was wrong, so wrong. but I did it. I went to a salon and put on extensions to make my hair look longer and dyed it blonde, it was brown at the roots down to my neck but from my neck to above my ass, it was blonde. I actually liked it. It was a good different and It made me feel a bit better about myself.

I was currently holding Zayn's journal in my hand and deciding whether or not should I read it, this was going to hurt me but I had to do it. I just..have to know what happened.

20-2-2014

It was the first time I've laid my eyes on her. My friend threw a huge party at his house and fortuntely she was one of his friends. I wasn't even going but David insisted that I should so I did. I went. I was standing in a corner holding a can of Pepsi as I watched everybody dance and have fun, I was starting to get bored and before I can turn and go anywhere, laughter erupted from behind me making me turn my head and look at the most beautiful girl in the whole room.

It was crazy how beautiful she was. A wide smile on her lips as she listened to her friend talking about something that I clearly didn't care about, all I cared about that moment was her..the mysterious girl that took my breath away.

It took me a while but then I noticed her deep blue eyes, her friend said something that made her widen her eyes before laughing loudly at it, her eyes closing as she did. She was tanned, blue eyed and with a beautiful chocolate hair that reached right above her backside.

I remember what she was wearing pretty well, she wore a beautiful black dress that reached above her knees and hugged her at all the right places, I couldn't tear my gaze away from her and she probably felt me staring at her because her gaze went from her friend and scanned the place before it landed on me. I was caught staring and I could've cared less. I couldn't stop staring but unlike her, she looked down at her dress and before the both of us notice, her friend caught us both which caused her to frown.