My Idiot Brother: Jack Sparrow

Sparrow Reunion. It's Not Pretty.

I decided I hated Tortuga.

It was full of stinking men, women who were selling their bodies, and pirates. Pirates everywhere. Pirates killing, pirates drinking, pirates passing out from drinking, and pirates fighting. Pirates, pirates, pirates. It was making me sick. I began to wonder why Jack had decided to become a pirate. They were disgusting, rude, arrogant, impulsive, violent, and always drunk. Then again, maybe that's where he belonged.

Also, that money my dad gave me, barely lasted two days. And I'd been there for almost a week. And, to make it even better, that'd been without paying for a room to stay in. I'd been camping out in the all night bars and unlocked sheds. I only used the money to buy food, and it didn't get much either. On the third, I was wiped clean. After that, I wandered the streets and tried to earn or beg some food off others. Unsuccessfully. I was slowly starving. I began to think my dad had miscalculated or misjudged Jack. It wasn't hard to do considering he was so unpredictable.

But anyway, I was saying something about pirates. Oh yeah. They're violent and almost always drunk. I got to experience this first hand, the eighth night I was there. It'd been about four or so days since my last meal, give or take a few days, and I was hungry. I made my way to one of the bigger bars. I fought my way through the crowd of men and women, all equally drunk, to get to the bar. I managed to find a free chair, miraculously, and slumped against the bar. "What can I get you sonny?" the bartender shouted over the noise. "Food." I replied, my voice weak. Ten long minutes later, he cam back with a platter heaped high with so many good looking foods, I had to physically keep myself from drooling. I was just about to dig in when the bartender took a good look at me and my ragged appearance and said, "Do you have money to pay for this?" I'm not kidding when I say I stopped with my mouth open and food halfway to my mouth. "Well, I was hoping I could work for the food." I said, and my voice sounded truly pathetic. I was just a scrawny kid who wanted something to eat.

"Sorry lad, we don't do things that way here." He said pulling back the food. "Wait, please," I pleaded. "I'm so hungry. I swear I'll pay you back." The bartender only shook his head and motioned one of the huge, burly men by the doors over. "Hugh, could you please escort this young gentlemen out." Hugh put his paw of a hand on my shoulder as I stood up from the chair, but I shook it off angrily. "I can walk by myself thanks." I told him, but he still followed me toward the door. Halfway there, I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. He was about four feet directly behind me. Perfect. Time for some revenge. I scanned the room and immediately spotted the biggest man in the room, straight ahead, I calmly made my way toward him, snagging a rum bottle from the edge of a table on my way. When I was directly behind him, I swung it up above my head and brought it crashing down on his skull.

It shattered harmlessly but I got the desired reaction. He stiffened and slowly turned around. By this time, the giant, Hugh, was standing right behind me. The man I'd just hit with a bottle looked at the bottle neck still clutched in my hand, to my face. Then, as if to say I didn't understand what was going either, I shrugged at him. It worked. His face turned beet red and he stood up, towering an easy foot above me, and I'm no shorty either. He cocked his fist and sent it swing toward my head. At the last moment, I ducked and the man's fist slammed into Hugh, just like I planned. Then Hugh in turn went crashing into another table.

The whole bar went silent for two whole heart beats before all hell broke loose. Screams, shouts, and the sounds of weapons being drawn fill the air. Smoke from guns inhibited any chance of sight. Tables and chairs went skidding across the floor in all directions. Bottles and people were flying everywhere. I smiled.

I began to make my way to the door, there was no way I wanted to stay in the middle of all that chaos, when a huge hand clamped down on the back of my neck. I looked up to see a very beaten up Hugh standing above me. He quickly began to shove me toward the door, completely ignoring everything around him, especially my shouts. Hugh kicked open the door and literally threw me outside. I rolled a bit, eventually stopping on my back. "And stay out!" Hugh shouted after me. So cliche.