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It was almost strange getting ready for the evening with Kirsty without the mess of pre-drinks and blasting music. Tonight, they were quieter, more chilled out.
Instead of body-con dresses, both girls were going for something a lot more loose and classy, perfect for an evening meal with friends in celebration of turning another year older, not that Emi needed reminding of that fact.
When she was young, growing old was always something she looked forwards to. That was until responsibilities started piling on. After that, she wanted to stay forever young. Sixteen was always a good age with the house parties and the regrettable romances and getting wasted with your best friends.
Now, her life was becoming somewhat dominated by pressures from university and from the impending future. Always planning for the future with five year plans, ten year plans.
Some days Emi wished she were one of those people who could live in the moment, live as if there was no tomorrow. But she was too aware of the tomorrow to even begin to live in the present. There was too much blaring at her for tomorrow to let her ignore it as if it didn't even exist.
It was a charming thought to forget tomorrow, but unrealistic.
And Emi was most definitely a realist.
Not that being a realist was a bad thing in the slightest. She'd been like it for as long as she could remember, but it was a part of her personality that was undeniably difficult for her to get over and let herself go with the flow. If there was a hint of doubt, she would find it and play on it.
"Stop thinking so much, you'll get wrinkles!" Kirsty exclaimed, pointing to her with the end of her make up brush.
"Sorry," Emi said with a laugh. "You know I can't help it."
"It's okay. As long as we have a good night of wine, nice food and laughs we'll be happy." Kirsty went back to blending her make up as Emi rolled onto her front, propping her head up with a pillow.
"You better hurry up with that face because I'm starving," Emi whined, half joking half not. Kirsty always took the longest to get ready.
"I'm almost done, cool your jets!"
-
The meal was wonderful, just as Emi had hoped it would be. They'd sat and chatted for what felt like a life time of happiness. It was nice to be with her friends and know that they were going to remember it in the morning. Not only that, it was good to be in company she felt comfortable with and in a place where she wasn't worrying about anything but how much food she could eat before she couldn't eat anymore.
Kirsty raised her wine glass into the air and cheered, "To another year of Emi being the most organised fuck I know!"
Emi laughed and raised her glass. "Cheers!" She returned in chorus with the others, sipping her drink with a smile on her face. "Thank you for such a nice evening," She said, looking between the faces of her friends. "I know some of you wanted a party, but I think this evening meal was eventful enough with all the stories we've shared."
"I wouldn't have had it any other way, Em," Kirsty told her, her head tilting as she smiled. The reassurance was more than enough.
After that, they posed for a photo, which was taken by the waitress before she cleared away their empty plates, carting them off into the kitchen. Before she knew it, her birthday meal was over. Everyone was pulling on their coats, complaining about how full they were and hoping it wouldn't rain between now and the warmth of their homes.
Emi thanked each of them for coming, promising to see them again soon.
When it came to Kirsty, she embraced the girl tightly. "Thank you for not being mad I didn't want a party," She said.
"It's your birthday, not mine. Although... it would be nice to have more than one birthday a year," Kirsty joked, pulling back from the hug and shoving her hands into the pockets of her coat. "You'll be able to get home alone, right? Lewis just text me and he's nearby so we were gonna go for drinks."
Emi pressed her lips together into a smile. "That's totally fine. I hope you two have a lovely night, but a word of advice... Don't push him away because you don't think you're ready for something serious. I know you are and you do too. Let it happen, Kirst, okay?"
Kirsty held the raven haired girl at arms length with a quirk upon her lips. "Maybe you should take that advice too. You think you don't have time, but you do. Just let yourself have some time to be happy with someone and I promise you'll never regret trying. I would never tell you to do this if I thought it would hurt you, trust me, but I think you'll regret never reconnecting with him."
"You mean Will?" Emi muttered, her dark, endless eyes turning down to look at her feet.
"Yes," Kirsty said, gripping her slightly tighter. "I think you should call him. You owe it to yourself to try again with him because I'm scared of seeing you waste away between pages of textbooks."
By this point, Emi was glad the others had left as her throat bobbed. "Alright," She managed. "I'll call him tonight."
-
Her heart was in her mouth as she scrolled through her contacts, looking for the name that had been playing on her mind for months. Will. She'd tried hard to forget all about him, but he just kept resurfacing.
Late at night when she wanted to sleep, she thought about what they could've been. When she found herself travelling alone, she wondered if he'd found someone else who he could make laugh until her stomach hurt. When she saw couples walking down the street, hand in hand, she wished she had the same.
So, as she held the phone to her ear and heard the phone call going through, she reminded herself of all those thoughts to give herself the strength to endure the call.
"Hello?" She heard his voice loud and clear. The familiar accent was like a breath of fresh air. "Emi?"
"Hi," She replied breathily, not quite believing her was there. "I had a few questions I wanted to ask you and I've finally got the courage to ask them, so..."