The shape of Merlin

Untitled Part 1

I don't own BBC Merlin nor do I own Ed Sheeran. This work was in no way meant to offend, harass, or belittle Ed Sheeran in any way. All rights go to the prospective people. Enjoy!

 Merlin stepped out of his chambers, making sure Gaius was asleep. Sleeping tonic is a hell of a thing when you slip it into some homemade rat noodle soup. Gaius wouldn't be in any state to notice Merlin's absence, that was for sure. Merlin crept silently through the corridors. He didn't want to see Arthur, but at the same time he kind of did. If Arthur was out and found out about what Merlin was doing, maybe, just maybe, he would be jealous. Maybe Arthur would realise that he chose the wrong servant. Fucking Gwen, having to mess everything up. Sure, Arthur might be happier but that doesn't make it right . Fucking Gwen, always banging Merlin's man.

Merlin knew the castle like the back of his hand. He went down the stairs thinking of Arthur with every step, then across a courtyard, carefully watching for guards. He found the door to Ed Sheeran's quarters easily, and he knocked quietly on the thick oak doors. The door opened and a half-naked Ed Sheeran appeared, looking pretty damn fine. Merlin stated the fact that Ed was looking damn fine by skipping the formalities and straight up saying, "You look pretty damn fine today Ed. Want us to bangeth our bodies on thy present day?"

"Aye. I would love to. This might not be the best spot though. Guards walk past often, and you know what they do to..." Ed paused for a moment, trying to think of a polite way to say it. "Our kind." Merlin nodded solemnly. "Want to go to a place a bit more private?" Merlin nodded again, this time with a hint of playfulness in his eyes.

They left the room, watching for guards. This time though, they were not careful enough. They both jumped as a voice boomed through the corridor. Sir Leon hand found them!

"What are you two doing out here, so late at night?" Leon asked. He didn't say it outright, but he might as well have. He really meant, "I know you two are going down to the dungeon to have sex, and two men being together is strictly against all the laws and rules in poetry. I don't get payed enough for the shit."

Merlin eyed Ed Sheeran quickly before saying "We were just going to archives. To read poetry, of course." Merlin winked seductively at Ed, hoping that Ed would admire his quick wit. Leon knew that he should probably do something to stop them from courting , but honestly he didn't give enough fucks. So Merlin and Ed went on their way, indubitably giggling at how they deceived one of the clever guards of camelot.+

Merlin and Ed opened the door to the dungeon, quickly stepping in. Ed was immediately all touchy touchy, but Merlin was much more hesitant. He was still thinking of Arthur. Handsome, brave, loyal, handsome Arthur. He thought of Arthur's effortlessly perfect hair. How Arthur always called Merlin stupid and clumsy in such a loving way. Merlin thought of how every word Arthur said made Arthur's extremely kissable lips move in a hypnotisingly errotic way. Still, Arthur had made a mistake. Arthur had left him for Gwen. They were probably banging this very second. Merlin shuddered at the thought. Arthur should have been his. Still, Merlin had a bigger problem on hand, and that problem was currently Ed Sheeran.

At first, Merlin had thought that making love to Ed would be a way to make Arthur jealous enough to take Merlin back. When that didn't work and Arthur never found out about their relationship, Merlin had hoped that maybe he would develop feelings for Ed and give up his feelings for Arthur. That was going indubitably absolutely swimmingly. Every time Merlin saw Ed's face, he just wished it was Arthur's. Every time Ed's sweet lips touched his, Merlin wished they were Arthur's. But wishing would do no good. It was Ed's face looking back at Merlin. It was Ed's body entangling each night with Merlin's. Not Arthur's.

This time, Merlin had come up with a solution. He pulled away from Ed's embrace and searched his bag for a swooping red cape with a golden dragon emblem. He whispered to Ed, "Put it on. It will compliment your eyes. You have beautiful eyes." But really, Merlin's attention wasn't on Ed's eyes at all. Merlin was thinking of Arthur. Arthur's eyes were the most beautiful of all. For a second, Merlin thought that Ed would question Merlin. But, after a moment of hesitation, Ed Sheeran shrugged at wrapped the cape around himself, and then pulled himself to Merlin, and they started making out.

After a significant while of making out, Merlin mindlessly whispered "I love you so much Arthur. I just want to hold you." He soon realized his mistake, as Ed Sheeran quickly jumped away.

"No!" Merlin said quickly. "I didn't mean it like that, I swear! I love you!" Merlin continued, though his heart wasn't into it. Deep down, Arthur was all that mattered. Still, Ed took Merlin's word for it and pulled him to the floor. After they spent a long while of doing questionable activities, most of which consisted of various forms of bangething thy bodies together and other fuckery, the door to the dungeon opened and Arthur appeared.

Merlin was horrified. Arthur was horrified. Ed Sheeran was horrified. They all were, indubitably, horrified. Merlin was worried about what was going to come next. Would Arthur execute them? Surely not. Merlin had always been a faithful servant. Still, the outlook seemed indubitably grim. Merlin was even more horrified when, in a strange turn of events, Arthur smiled, and said "Leon told me you two would be down here. Merlin, I don't know how to say this. Actually though, I do. Because I know everything. That is why I'm the prince, after all. I love you Merlin. Also good to see you, Ed Sheeran, THOUGH I'M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE. YOU FUCKED WITH MY BOYFRIEND SO YOU FUCKED WITH ME. Thank you."

Ed Sheeran wordlessly took of his cloak, turned around, and ran from the dungeon. He certainly wasn't coming back. Merlin motioned to the floor suggestingly. Arthur mounted the floor, and then mounted Merlin. They did it so passionately, it was almost a shame that Ed Sheeran wasn't there to see it.

*Fade to Black*