The Sonorous Timer

Chapter 31 - Waiting game

To me, Manu's mood made no sense. I kept thinking it was because he was confused, but how could confusion affect someone's mood that strongly? I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens. Drops of water hit the car window as we drove home. Darkness and rain create a more dramatic and intense feeling to the current situation. I feel like all your feelings just gather quicker and stronger whenever it rains in the dark. «You know, you've got quite the thinking face,» Manu pointed out. «I have?» I crossed my legs. «Yeah, and it's even more clear when you're in deep thoughts.» «What's it like then?» I asked. «Your eyebrows narrow more and your eyes close more when you're in really deep thoughts.» «How do you know it's really deep thoughts though?» I asked. «I saw it by on the way you looked at me at the café.» «How could you know that's a 'deep thinking' face?» I asked a bit confused. «Because it looks like mine, that's why I avoided the eye contact.» That makes much more sense now, of course, there would be a risk that I could recognize his thinking face. «Still, it's only thinking, what's so bad about that?» I asked. «Because you were thinking of me, then I guess you know what I was thinking of.» «Me?» I asked insecurely. Of course, he wouldn't answer me, typical of him.

There were no signs of people in the house. All the lights were off and it was quiet. «Are we alone?» I whispered. «We shouldn't be, they all live here,» Manu grabbed a small knife from the commode in the hall. It's completely normal to have a knife hidden there, you know. Not random at all. He kept his guard up as he walked through the house. Even the light in the hallway wasn't on. Everything looked like before, and I couldn't notice any different smells or something like that either. «That's odd?» Manu lowered his arms. «Peekaboo,» the light got switched on. «Ah!» I jumped. «Been out reading all day?» Caleb chuckled at my jumping. He held a cup of coffee in his hands and had changed into his pajamas. «You scared us, Caleb,» Manu exhaled as he put the knife away. «Scared you? Says the one who could have stabbed me!» Caleb chuckled in a teasing matter. «Heck, I could have stabbed myself from your surprise appearance,» Manu sounded bitter yet with a joking tone. Caleb's hair looked fluffy like he had forgotten to brush it in days. «Sorry about that, mate. I fell asleep when watching series earlier so now I can't sleep, that's it,» he told us. Ahh, that explains the hair. «Next time, try to be less creepy,» Manu patted his shoulder. «Will try,» Caleb nodded once. «Where's Elijah?» Manu asked. «Asleep, and so is Akira. She cried for about an hour before she managed to fall asleep.» Manu let out a sigh instead of answering. Must be quite the dramatic love life he's got.

The time had passed 8.30pm and nothing interesting had happened. Manu sat by the window like I had done when he slept. «Have I said something wrong to you, Manu? Because if I have, I would want to know,» I walked closer. «What?» he sounded a bit surprised. «Never mind,» I felt instant regret. He cleared his throat as he nodded hesitatingly. Caleb sat on a chair by the kitchen counter with his entire torso leaned over the kitchen counter. «Is he asleep?» I asked, trying not to laugh at the sight. «Probably,» Manu answered. I moved closer till I stood right by Caleb's side. «Shall I wake him up, or?» I questioned. «Nah, just let him sleep.» «Okay then. By the way, am I the only one with cold fingers?» I looked down at my hands. «No, mine's quite cold now as well,» he answered. «Oh, uh,» I awkwardly intertwined my fingers. Silence took over, I guess none of us knew what to say. He looked out the window while I looked at him. I'm creepy, I know. He sat with one of his feet closer to himself with his knee up. His arm rested on top of his knee as he watched the rain pour outside.

I keep imagining what it would be like between Manu and I if we wouldn't have been caught up in the evil circle. We could've been a normal couple, without the affection of evilness. We could've lived without the fright of being taken away each night. I had never thought I would have to dream about such life, it all just seemed so natural and expected when I was younger. I had always just expected to live a normal life, with a lover, in safety. Now that has turned into a dream that I probably won't get to live out. We take a whole lot for granted, and we really shouldn't. I shouldn't. Manu and I, and probably a whole lot of others have gotten caught up in an everlasting nightmare. The evil circle hasn't only cost us the ability to live normally, it has also cost us our lives basically. There must be an end to it, right? It gets worse and worse for each time, at some point, we must die from it. Neither of us has gotten out of that room without getting hurt, not once. I'm not only talking about psychical pain, also the mental one. The last time, we didn't really end up hurt psychically. Manu has a girlfriend, it seems like, but I felt like we had something going on,  but that may not have been true. It doesn't really matter now anyway, we can't be together. And if he spoke the truth earlier, he's not even in love with me. I may be living in my own imagination, a fake one created because of a wicked impression of someone. Who knows? I certainly don't.

Scrolling through my Tumblr feed was getting boring. Nothing interesting happened on that app anymore. I had completely forgotten about my phone for quite a while, the one I bought at Caleb's shop. It felt kinda wrong of me to sit on my phone when all I wanted to do was talk to Manu. I just don't know what to say. The problem isn't to find something to talk about, the problem is Manu. I don't know how he'll react anymore, he's created an insecurity that I can notice strongly now. When I think about it, it might not be the app that has gotten boring, it might be something else that's just gotten more exciting. «I can't take your staring anymore, do you have something on your mind that you want to tell me?» Manu suddenly broke the silence. «No,» I stuttered a bit shocked. «Then why are you staring at me so intensely?» he exhaled. Because I can't help it? «I don't know, I'm just waiting.» «You're waiting? Waiting for what?» he asked. «The dizziness.» He heightened his head a bit, his face tensed more: «Oh.» «I'm sorry,» I looked down at my phone. He went quiet so I lifted my head in curiosity. He was staring directly at me. «What are you doing?» I frowned. «I'm waiting.» «Waiting for the dizziness?» I asked. «No.»