Where the bugs light up in the woods---- Chris Motionless x boy reader

13...

Flowers...
They made me jealous...
It was late winter...
Flowers reminded me of my dead brother...
I remember that day like a picture....
I remember when my parents hit me for the first time..
I remember the blood...
Somehow the memory of blood followed me and showed up on my flesh today...
203...
My hands shook as I put the blade down...
I heard a knock on the door and quickly whipped my tears, getting blood on my face..
"Axel get your fat ass out of the restroom right now!"
It was my dad...
All the sudden I jumped...
"Shh... "
Chris...
"H-"
"I'm gonna clean you up lovely...."
he had tears in his eyes as if he's seen my cuts for the first time...
It was probably the red..
I hated that color..
I only liked it when Chris talked about that..
He lifted me over his shoulder as if I was a child and started to rub my back..
I sniffled into his shoulder and wrapped my hands around his neck....
He climbed out of my two story window, and down the ladder into my backyard...
I saw the sun..
Sometimes I wish the sun could engulf the earth and seize humanity...
Chris held me like a child..
But somehow I felt comfort in the position..
He continued to walk down the path that lead into a field..
the place where I saw his chocolate eyes..
He carried me all the way into his house, down the first hall and into his bedroom's bathroom..
He sat down on the floor with me still cowering away into his large upper body...
"B-baby?... can I take off your clothes so I can clean off the blood..."
I was scared and guilty, but I obliged and did what I was told..
I nodded to him and shyly stood up...
"I won't look I promise.."
I blushed a shade of crimson red..
As I was taking off my shirt I heard Chris start a bath..
Now I was bare nude..
I felt gross...
"Y-you're so beautiful.."
"Y-"
"Shhh... step in the water..."
I was blushing so red at this point...
I wanted to cower away into his arms..
I didn't feel big I felt small..
as if I was a child...
"A-am I making you uncomfortable?..."
I was ashamed of my body but at the same time I wanted him to stare..
His presence was too great to leave him..
I would never leave..
Unless he left me...
"N-no.."
He gave me a slim smile..
"C-can I take off my shirt?.."
I blushed but kept calm...
"o-ok.."
He was bare...
his tattoos were like paintings that would be in an art gallery..
I flinched at the contact..
Chris lifted me into his arms and sat down in the bath tub...
blood painted the water a dark color that I again don't want to think about..
that night he kissed me..
I kissed him back..
entry 12:
Sincerely,
Axel