Tarzan and James

Retrieving what was lost

*Tarzan's prospective*

"You know my name." The words are sweet rolling off my tongue. I haven't heard my own name is so long or been able to say it until now. After I had to come out here I lost my identity. I no longer existed. Scott died. I know it's cruel to tell him right as we say goodbye but he wouldn't have gone if I had told him. He's not particularly stubborn but when his heart gets involved he is very passionate.

I remember when we were younger how he would always bring a Twinkie from his house for me at lunch. He never asked for anything in return but he just brought it for me. He would always cuddle with me and I would talk to him while he would sleep. I know he couldn't hear me but it made taking about somethings much easier. I would just cradle him and we would just sleep. I don't know why he was always tired but I don't think he slept much at his house. We would just snuggle up sometimes weather it be in a tree or my living room. We were young but with each other we were beyond our years. I remember us going to a little creek close by and pretending we were in the jungle. We would find fun stuff to do any where we had to go. I remember when we were at the creek once and he slipped in a tree trying to climb up to me and I had to hug him to make him feel better. I wasn't able to stop hugging him for it seemed like an eternity. A very short eternity. I kissed him on the forehead but I don't know how much he remembers. Probably not a lot since how tense he was every time I would get close to him. I always knew I liked him but I never quite knew if he felt the same way. When ever I was with him I had an excuse to act how I wanted. Infront of my dad my mom couldn't show me too much affection because I was supposed to be an experiment and it would be harder to give me up. We all still got attached. I loved my mom and James and I think they loved me so it was hard for all of us. Especially young James. He has no idea what had happened to his best friend. I hadn't really ever imagined how bad it must have hurt him. My mom would try to not talk about him when she would see me but she would stop herself in the middle of the story and I could tell she was fudging details so she didn't have to say his name. He was almost as much her son as I was. We spent all of our time together and James never really wanted to be at his house. He even called my mom Mom sometimes. This must have been extremely painful for her. Seeing him and knowing he's hurting like she was. I was glad to hear they kept in contact. I love both of them and I want to see both of them again. Feel her hug and his hands. But all of that's just going to be a memory If I don't get out of this situation.

I don't know if having to leave him when I was that young or having him say my mom had died so nonchalantly hurt worse. Now I have neither. I can't kill anybody who is coming. They are all my dads coworkers and they all know me. I can't kill them. I have to leave.

I didn't leave myself anything to live off of or use to escape. That's not a problem. He needs it more. I hope he made it safe. Okja will keep him safe. Hopefully he'll keep her safe. She's been the only thing I've interacted with for the past how ever long. She was the one i talked to and slept with for warmth in the deceivingly cold jungle. For some reason all of the other animals never bothered her. I was worried about her because she started off so little but once she grew she grew a lot. After my mom took me here she "went rogue" and took another one of their experiments. Okja was a huge food source that eats less but produces more meat. She was the first of her kind to work. She protected me. But I can't reminisce now. I have to get my self out of this mess. I can't fight them. I know there will be too many and they have too much technology. I can't just go with them. I think my best chance would just to be to run. But to where?