My depression lasted for 3-4 weeks,
After my depression, when I got my senses back, I learn many things.
My depression is both my torturer and teacher.
Torturer as those 3-4 weeks is like an hell to me, I feel like I'm going crazy every second of it, whispers on my mind that worsens every night, then it always traps me in my room and left me in the dark,
I want to seek or go to my friends but it doesn't allow me, I feel like I'm being held in an asylum and in a process of being insane, my friends tries to help me, and retrieve me when I feel dying, but it always stops them, depression is a psychopath and what it loves is controling your mind, it makes me feel worthless, sadness, all of the negativity and sometimes I can't handle it, I broke down, and feel numb, like Something have been taken from me,
Something that makes me alive,
Then all of a sudden, I don't feel anything,
Sadness, happiness, being afraid.
That's the worst I have been experienced,
I could not feel any contentment at all, I try to seek contentment and for me to be well,at any cost, I go to arcades, I go shopping, I even go to psychologist clinics I spend almost all my savings just for seeking my happiness,
Then, I go to church, I pray, I pray to god to give me problems, I may sound crazy, but I'm desperate to feel emotions again, and in the end, I cried and cried for almost an hour, because I realized I'm the only one in the church and I know how bad it is, I question god, why does he gave me something like this? When I don't deserve that?
Depression is a teacher,
It's the type of an teacher where it torturers students for them to learn,
I haved learned how to handle being in the dark, in times where my depression hits me, the darkness is my friend, I feel comfortable when I'm in the dark it feels like someone is hugging me and comforting me from all of my sadness.
Money can't buy happiness,
They're were many things that money can't buy, and those things is the most expensive and hard to achieve yet the most rewarding,
I haved also learned how to handle my feelings well, as those times when I feel numb, I am just observing things and how it works, and eventually discover things.
And also it is the time where you could discover who is really your true friends are! Who are those who doesn't give up on you.
But sadly, my parents the ones that should understand me doesn't understand me, that really is painful, when I'm trying to open up to them, but they don't acknowledge me, and doesn't listen to me,
I feel like a laughing stock, when they laugh at me and says I'm crazy and making jokes out of my depression, and I hated the time where all I could do is hide what I really feel and just laugh with them.
YOU ARE READING
The Monster Within Me
Short StoryI have this other side within me, He is a monster called depression. What's it is like to have a depression? Are you curious? This is a true story of mine, And how my life before and after I got my depression. This is my free book, So don't expect...
