A Thousand Purple Stars (JinJi)

Sun and Stars

Jinyoung was in the middle of BIO 470 when he randomly decided to open up his laptop and check on his budget sheet. Since agreeing to take on the volunteer shifts at the convalescent home, Jinyoung had to cut back a few hours at his work study job at the campus infirmary. The discounted rent made up for the loss of money, but he was still steering dangerously close to the top of his budget. He scanned each item, checking to see if there was anything he could cut back on. He considered calling Jackson to tell him he wouldn't be able to meet for dinner tonight; he wouldn't be able to fit it into the budget.

Around him, his classmates began to pack their things. Jinyoung followed suit, carefully replacing his laptop and notebook into his bag. He was halfway across the quad and considering heading on back to Hillside Residences when he was stopped by someone.

It was his ex-girlfriend. Lee Nawon.

She was wearing a sunny yellow top, and in a brilliant moment of color association, he thought she looked happy. Which only made him feel even worse. It'd been more than a month since he caught her making out with Mark, and he hated how his heart still skipped a beat seeing her. Just a leftover reaction from their seven-month relationship, he supposed. One day, he'd be able to look at her and feel nothing.

When he looked up and met her eyes, she had an apologetic look on her face.

"Hey," she said quietly. Jinyoung swallowed.

"Hey," he said, only because he wasn't sure what else to say. Nawon stood there for the longest time, probably thinking of the best way to say whatever it was she wanted to say. Jinyoung's mind, meanwhile, romped back seven months and remembered how she had fake a sprained ankle just to go to the infirmary to see him and how she'd worn a blue dress on their first date, all the way up to the moment he walked in and saw her being unfaithful to him.

He half expected Nawon to come out with an apology. But she offered none. Instead, she handed him a book. Malice by Keigo Higashino. He almost scoffed at how appropriate the title was for this moment.

"You let me borrow this a while ago, I forgot I had it," Nawon said, gently as if the next word out her mouth might break him. Jinyoung, however, tried to look as unaffected as he possibly could. He took the book from her. She probably didn't even read it.

"So, how are you?" she asked. "We all feel sorry for you, you know."

"I don't feel like talking," Jinyoung said, and then ducked around her and started walking away before she tried talking to him again. He really did not want to talk. He did not want to hear her excuses or her explanations, no matter how many times people insisted that it would give him comfort and closure. He wanted to just get away from all of it, pretend it never happened.

When he looked back, Nawon wasn't following him. Instead, he saw her walking in another direction toward the coffee cart where he saw Mark waiting. Unlike Nawon, Mark hadn't tried reaching out to Jinyoung at all.

Even though he didn't want to, Jinyoung's body unconsciously began to slow down. He could take his eyes away from his ex-girlfriend and his ex-roommate.

He had tried to keep himself from falling down the rabbit hole of wondering how long Nawon and Mark had been going on behind his back. Wondering when in those seven months he had lost Nawon. Wondering what he could have done differently or if things had been wrong from the very beginning.

But then he stopped himself. Not now. He couldn't think of this now. Not when there were so many other things to worry about. Like that medical school acceptance letter that seemed like it might never come or his budget. Jinyoung turned back and started walking again, but then he immediately rammed into someone and fell forward, pinning the person to the grass.