Gone | Jitzu

Chapter 2

(Word Count- 1003)

"SHOULD I GO?" I asked Myoui Mina, someone I had became close with over the years. Of course she wasn't as close to me as Tzuyu was, no one ever would be, but Mina was the closest thing I had to a best friend. "I'm not sure who it could be, or what it could be about? What if it's someone trying to kidnap me or rape me?"

"True, but it easily could be someone confessing their love for you," Mina said. I lightly shoved her. "Hey, you could end up in a relationship. I know how you feel about romance, but Tzuyu died years ago. Are you still in love with her?" Mina asked me. I played with my hoodie sleeves as I thought.

"W-We're getting off topic. We were talking about the note card." I said in response. I couldn't tell the truth. I hadn't said "I love Chou Tzuyu" out loud since eighth grade, and it hurt to even say her name. I keep the pain I feel to myself, and think about her constantly. I take out my anger on myself, but I never admit it. I can't bring myself to talk about her to anyone, unless I'm defending her.

"Look, if you really want to go, but you're scared, I'll go with you." Mina said. "Okay?" I nodded and opened my bag, pulling out the note card.

"Then we're going. See you then, Z."

* * *

I walked home, my earbuds in and a cigarette in my mouth. I looked across the street to see Yoo Jeongyeon working on her garden. She looked up at me, her short hair blowing in the wind. "Hey, Jihyo! Can you come here for a moment?" She asked me.

I sighed and tossed my cigarette, walking over to her. I reached the garden and stood next to her, my arms crossed. "What is it?" I asked her. She bit her lip and turned to me, holding a bouquet of flowers.

"I-I was wondering if you could put these on Tzuyu's grave." Jeongyeon said. I looked at her.

"Are you serious?" I asked. "You never liked her." She blew a piece of hair out of her face and looked at the flowers.

"But I did. I wanted to hold her hand, and kiss her. I was going to ask her to the dance, but it was too late. I'm simply asking-" I knocked the flowers out of her hands.

"No. The answer is no. Do it on your own time. If you are so in love with her, you would know where her grave stone is." I turned around and walked back across the street. I entered my house to be greeted by a photo of Tzuyu and I in the second grade. It seemed like this girl was everywhere I turned. 

I walked into the kitchen and my mom stood by the oven, holding a plate of cookies. I raised an eyebrow. "Who died? How are you trying to cheer me up?" I asked her, taking a chocolate cookie from her. My mom rolled her eyes and set the plate down. 

"These are for celebration," she said. 

"Celebration? What could we possibly be celebrating on such an awful day as today?" I asked, taking a bit of my cookie. She handed me a white envelope with my full name written in cursive on the front. I stared at it for a moment before ripping it open. I pulled out a piece of paper and set down my cookie on a napkin. 

"Dear Park Jihyo, you have been invited to have an audition to join our Show Choir. Only good singers are invited, and we've heard you sing before. Only great singers join our choir, so you must push yourself at the audition. If you are accepted, you must dedicate your time to us. We understand that you are busy, being in high school, but we take our competitions and songs very seriously. Hope to see you in two weeks at the audition, Guri's Singing Academy." I read a loud. I looked up at my mother. "B-But I haven't sang in years. How have they heard me sing before?" 

"I sent them a tape of you singing, and a request for an audition." My mother said with a smile. "Jihyo, this is amazing! You can finally achieve your dream of becoming a singer if you nail this. Their show choir is undefeated, and many famous singers come from them. Aren't you excited?" I set down the letter and picked up my cookie, putting it in my mouth. 

"Yeah, definitely." 

* * * 

"I haven't sang since eighth grade, and my mom is seriously trying to get me an audition with this insane singing academy. What am I supposed to do?" I asked Mina through the phone as I sat on my bed. A bowl of spaghetti sat in my lap and my backpack was next to me, reminding me to do my homework. 

"The only thing you can do. Sing." Mina replied. I sighed. 

"I don't think I can do that," I replied, taking a bite of my spaghetti. 

"Why not?" She asked. I swallowed, trying my best to explain it. 

"I just don't think I can sing. I don't have the courage to do it." I took a shaky breath. "I-I got to go. See you Sunday." I hung up on her and set my phone done on my bedside table. When I sing, my heart aches and feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest. I know the pain came from Tzuyu's death. We used to sing a lot together, singing alone just reminded me she was gone. I ended up singing all together, and once I stopped, I couldn't do it again. It hurt too much. 

I opened my phone and shuffled my music, seeing if there was a song I could sing, but it seemed hopeless. 

I sighed. 

"Chou Tzuyu, why do you control my whole entire life?"