The Alphas' Mate.

Eighteen. (2023 Update.)

Eighteen.

"Nothing can be done," I spoke, watching the chaos unfold in their eyes. I could feel the overwhelming panic radiate from the twins as they looked at each other, then focused on me. It didn't matter what was offered to Max; I was the only option to secure Chloe's return. The sensation was starting to leave my body as I watched the twins. 

They were arguing with each other in their link, and while I would like to be included in their conversation, I didn't allow them to be involved with my decision. A bitter laugh escaped my lips, causing Levi and Cosima to look at me. Gods, I hated how Jake knew this would be an outcome. Reaching my hands, I cupped the girls' cheeks, forcing them to lock eyes. 

"I truly wish there was another way," I paused, seeing the anger grow in their green eyes, "But I can't give the Queen to Max, and no amount of money or power we could offer him would be enough. So I am the only answer to bringing Chloe back." 

"What about us?" Levi asked. I was stunned into silence, watching Cosima nod in agreement with Levi. 

"I would never allow Max - " Cosima and Levi shoved my hands away, causing me to blink. I watched as they stood up from their spot before me and gazed down at me. Their eyes were glowing blue as their rage hit me. The power behind their emotions at the moment was powerful, making it hard for me to stand up. I just had to go and fight Jackson's order. 

"We're not talking about that!" Cosima shouted, "We're talking about us," Again, Cosima shouted, pointing at herself and Levi, "When do we become a priority in your life? When do you start prioritizing us, not the Victoria pack or Juliet? Or whatever fucking Kingdom she's in charge of! When do we become the person you drop everything for?" I was stunned. 

Running my hand through my hair, I kept silent, unsure what to say. I didn't know they were feeling this way. I didn't know that I wasn't prioritizing them. Closing my eyes, a sigh escaped my lips. There was no excuse or answer to their question. What could I say? They would have to get used to not being my top priority. Even if they're my mates, would they come second to the pack and Juliet's Kingdom? 

"You can't even answer her question," Levi muttered, causing me to open my eyes, catching the disgust in her eyes. My heart ached, knowing that Levi and Cosima would no longer see me as someone who loved them. But, unfortunately, I only had myself to blame for this. I was unprepared for them to enter my life this early, and as a result, this is what it's led to. 

"I had everything planned out," I finally found my voice. Levi and Cosima looked at each other and then looked at me. The question is burning in their eyes, "I wasn't supposed to find you this early. I've told you that already." The room fell silent; I could only hear their hearts beating and mine slamming against my chest. 

"I was supposed to be done with everything before I met my mate. I had everything planned down to the exact date. I would remove myself from the position of power I had. I had my finances appropriately saved and determined when it would be best to leave everything behind to be with my mate finally." Levi and Cosima continued to stare at me. 

"This pack," I paused, feeling my throat burn, forcing me to swallow, "This pack was supposed to be my last assignment. This pack was supposed to allow me to finish early and wrap up any loose ends I may have had. When I showed up, I wasn't expecting to find you both. I wasn't expecting my entire world to be turned upside down! I had to make a choice the moment I found you, and that was to carry out what needed to be done. Even if that meant I had to risk everything," I gasped, feeling the panic attack set in. 

"You both are my world, and that scares me in so many ways I couldn't put into words. Every day, I wake up terrified that something from my past will pop up and take you away from me. Every day, I battle with the choice I made that day because I fell so deeply in love with both of you, and now, those fears are coming true," I found the strength to stand up. The tears beaded down my cheeks as I stepped toward the twins, "There is a chance that I will never return, and I have to live with the choice that I've made because if I don't, the world I've envisioned you both living in, will never come." The twins stepped back, avoiding my touch.