i wake up to the sound of faint music in the background. my backs aching. i find myself on the floor of the practice room where tons of flower petals lay scattered on the area around me and about. i stand up lazily, rubbing away the sleep in my eyes and to the couch, where my phone was.
46 unread messages!
17 missed calls!
5 missed faceimes!
14 line messages!
i sigh, opening my phone. they must be wondering where i am. i stare at the time on my watch, seeing the bright led lights showing the time on the black screen. '12:13 AM'. i chuckle at myself, massaging my neck while doing so, since my body was aching from intense training.
i open my line messages first. and in an instant, i panic.
jaebummie-hyung:
bambam where are you
jaebummie-hyung:
bambam where the fuck are you?
jaebummie-hyung:
bambam im really fucking worried i swear to fucking god get your ass over here in the dorms because were all worried sick
jaebummie-hyung:
you're in the practice rooms arent you?
jaebummie-hyung:
im coming over dont you fucking dare leave bambam
i feel panic rise up in me as i stare at all the petals on the floor. "FUCK!" i yell, scratching at my head angrily as i fall to the floor and grab at all the petals to stuff in my bag.
i run across the whole practice room, picking up the white petals everywhere and shoving them in my bag. but i honestly had no chance. they where everywhere. u end up coughing up more and more petals and always have to clean thhem up. what was the point if i kept cleaning an area then showering it with the bastard petals?
i grab yet another handful of petals in my hands and start to stand up when the door swings open. my mouth starts to come agape and my eyes dilate. standing frozen at the door was my hyung, jaebum. my head runs with excuses as to why i was here and why there were flower petals everywhere. i could have never found a valid reason to why there were flower petals but any lie could make do in this situation...
"j-jaebum hyung?" i stutter, nervousness wracks my whole body as i dump the petals on the white covered floor. he looks at me in confusion, but anger pools up in his eyes.
"BAMBAM! WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU AND WHY DID YOU LEAVE!?" he yells in frustration. he glares at me. i feel like im a deer in headlights. there was no escaping the inevitable. his eyes stare me down as i cower beneath them.
"i-i..." i try to compose words but i just couldnt. i find myself choking on air and letting out a sob. he looks at me, as his eyes soften. "b-bam.." he trails off guiltily. he comes over and puts a hand over my shoulder and crouched next to me.
in this situation, i start to realise how much jaebum hyung was like a brother to me and how comforting he was. he looks around before setting his cat like gaze towards me. rubbing circles on my back, he lets out his words.
"bambam, why are there flower petals on the floor?" he asks, staring at me. i start to remember why i came here and the heartbreaking picture i saw and before i knew it, i started choking on flower petals.
i start coughing hardly, as jaebum looks at me worriedly, "bambam!? are you okay?" he starts to let his words pass out his mouth fastly. before i knew it, i was vomiting flower petals, but this time, they were decorated in thick red substance. i cough out loudly as my strained voice strangles out a flurry of words. and then i tell the truth to his horrified and scared face.
"jaebum hyung, i have a disease." i utter coughing up one more petal. he stares at me in disbelief. "w-whats that?! will it kill you?" he starts spitting out confusing words. he looks at the bloodied petals in worry as he feels horrid in the stomach.
"hyung, it occurs when someone has unrequited love. they vomit and cough flower petals until they choke and die on them." i explain, staring at the bloody petals. "w-what?" he asks, his voice shaking.
"hyung im going to die..."
he stares at me, his eyes holding a mixture of so many emotions. his eyes pool with tears.
"no, i cant lose another friend..." he cries, holding on to my frail body. "huh?" i utter. "i lost a friend to a disease, but it wasnt this..." he cries. he turns to meet my red eyes, swollen from crying yesterday. "does anybody know?" he asks me, taking my hand and rubbing it slowly. "no." i mutter.
"only i know?" he asks me, abruptly stopping any skin ship and sitting there.
"do you know how burdened i now feel?"
ŞİMDİ OKUDUĞUN
hanahaki. (yugbam)
Hayran Kurgufeeling a rough pain in his throat, he clutches at his neck, leaning over the toilet. it burns his throat . suddenly, a soft feeling runs out of his mouth, as white pours out from his lips. white petals decorate the clear white tiles. ...
