Sorry Father.

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Dear dad, you never believed in the internet you'll never actually read this and even if for some reason it got published and you read it you'll still think it's stupid, you always told me that Internet sucks and it's bad for me but not for my brothers. I really hate saying this Dad but you're the reason I started talking to animals, things that doesn't exist and even things that don't talk back. I became a crazy person because of you dad. This is for you.

I remember turning 13 and all I can remember that day is my father yelling and saying I'm a teenager now that means no outings, no dresses/shorts or any kind of show off clothes, It was scary, I was only a baby still I didn't know what's happening but I realized after.

Dad, you lied to me. You've been to Europe when you were about my age, you told me you smoked every kind of cigarette, went to every club, and had each and every kind of different cars and how happy you were but when it came to me, I had to stay home because (you're a girl and you'll get a reputation) well hear this father, I have a reputation already and you never actually listened to me so instead of helping your daughter you only broke me into pieces.

I got older and older, the older I get the more things you'd forbid me from, but not forbidding my brothers?? Because they were boys and I was a girl oh yes of course they'll always be your back but I'll always be your shame? Isn't that what you fathers think of daughters. You know people say a daughter's first love is her father, my only true love were my cats and my aunt.

Sorry daddy because I never achieved what you wanted, I remember every detail and every episode I've been through with you, I remember you telling me what to do and what to wear, the only places I've been to were always with you and you still made them worst days ever.

I never got the chance to be a normal girl and here I am in my 20's writing the story of my life instead of being somewhere over the rainbows ha? I'll never become what you wanted me to be and still you break my heart every time I talk to you, I don't know what to do and what's my life has to end up like when you're still controlling it somehow.. I hated it dad, I really did.

And dad, I never has became the person you wanted me to be, you truly don't see the damage you caused to me, to my mother? I think my mother is still suffering from your treatment with her and isn't a lie. 

I know father that you are kind hearted, you're sweet and you would sacrifice everything you had for me and my brothers but I also know father that you ruined me and my brothers, you ruined my future because I am a girl, father I'm not over that, Education has always been number one in my life but I guess not anymore because it's ruined.

I pity you dad because your family stood by us when you didn't, you're the only family memeber that didn't raise his children right in my opinion. I don't ask you for much right now, I want you safe and happy just away from me, you never knew what you put me through..

Taking my phone everytime you heard something from other family members about me wasn't the wisest thing to do, dad.

Not allowing me to go out and have fun because I am a girl and I can't have fun wasn't cool, dad, especially when you were a party killer when you were my age.

Losing your temper everytime my mom or I ask you for something was absolutely the worst thing you've done to us, I cried in everytime you did that, you made my life a living hell and I'm still going through it thanks to you.

Looking back to all the good opportunities we had for the whole family but you just decided to be selfish and ignore it? Do you remember all the good memories we had together? Because I surely don't remember much out of it.

I'm sorry father, I'll never be who you wanted me to be but I forgive you for everything you did to me, for my future that is unknown thanks to you, for the depression and the suicide attempt I had because of you, for everything I wanted my father to be but you weren't, I forgive you and I love you but for you to be out of my life is the best option.

Sorry father.

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