Silent Voice | Taehyung ✓

25 » crestfallen [ ! ]

[!]: suicide attempt, mentions of suicide, depressing af. as i said before, if necessary, the chapter will be privatised.

――

KWON CHAERIN.

After the cooling sensation engulfed my throat, I wiped my mouth and placed the mug in the sink, taking a mental note to wash it later when I fully woke up. Waking up in the middle of night was not my favourite thing since it only interfere my precious sleep time. Even one minute was too valuable to be wasted ― since I'd be having morning shift later.

Exiting the kitchen, I navigated my body to go back to my room and that was when I started hallucinating. Maybe the water I had earlier was intoxicated which made my eyes began seeing things that I was not supposed to. Rubbing my eyes, I blinked them several times to make sure what I had just witnessed was real.

Turned out, a whole scene of Taehyung's silhouette standing on the railings of our balcony was not something I imagined.

Everything was real.

――

3RD PERSON.

"Taehyung!" Chaerin yelled, rushing to open the slide door of their balcony and coiled her frail arms around her boyfriend's waist, hugging it so tightly and with every ounce of energy left in her body, she pulled Taehyung back which resulted them to fall on their butts.

A mere one second changed a fate, if Chaerin was late just by another second, who knows where Taehyung could be right now. He could be alive but his body probably would not function well anymore, or not at all ― died.

Taehyung already had his face stained with tears, the gust of wind that made his body shivers made him realize that he was still alive, and that's all thanks to Chaerin, who had failed his suicide attempt. He was a little bit upset because that just meant he'd continue becoming a burden for Chaerin.

But after seeing her girlfriend being a crying mess in front of his own pair of eyes, would he still even think about committing such things?

"Taehyung... why?" She asked weakly, trying her best to sit properly on her trembling legs. She was really, really frightened. The imagines of what could've happened came across her head, which triggered more tears to leave her tear ducts.

Not even Taehyung could say anything at this situation. Both were having knotted minds, still processing what had just happened. "Why did you do that, Taehyung?! Answer me!" Chaerin grabbed the collar of Taehyung's tee shirt and shook his body, tears were kept flowing from her eyes, her nose and cheeks were turning red.

His eyes widened, shaking his head although he knew that was not the best thing to do; it did not give an answer to her. But what else he could do? If he had the voice to answer her question, then they probably would not be in this situation right now.

Chaerin leaned her head against Taehyung's chest, clenched fists slowly turning into a whole hug. She was upset, marked herself as a failure. She did not even know the fact that her boyfriend was suicidal, and that depressing thought really dropped her heart.

Taehyung was in panic. He grabbed a notebook nearby them ― a notebook which he used to write all of the things he wanted to say to his girlfriend, telling her how much he loved her, hoping that she would find it in the morning after his attempt.

He frantically wrote his voice out. After that, she poked Chaerin to read the note. 'I'm sorry, Chaerin, for being a burden for you. If I die, your suffering will end too.' Chaerin could not believe what she just read, moreover, it all came from Taehyung. Never even once Chaerin saw him as burden.

"Tae, you're my happiness, and one can't live without their happiness. If you die, then I die too," she answered. "There's no such thing as a happy ending, Tae. The word end itself is not a definition of something happy, it marks an end of a journey. Taehyung, what about the relationship we have built together until this point? Our trust... does it mean nothing to you?" She asked, trying to maintain her composure since this talk would require a clear mind and careful thoughts. It clutched onto one's life.

'No! It means the world for me, Chaerin. But you know, we're supposed to complete each other's missing pieces, right? But all this time, I feel like Chaerin is the one who always keep completing my missing pieces while I give you nothing in return. It's about me who's wrong, Chaerin. I've failed to give you what you deserve.' He wrote, although Chaerin had to reread a few sentences to completely process it.

"Taehyung, do you want to know something that I've learnt?" He nodded at that question. "To begin with, you probably never noticed before, but from the day we met at the playground, the day you approached me was also the same day you've dragged me out from darkness. And you continue to pull me out from negativity up until now, without you knowing. So who's the one who got saved here?" She tried her best to put a fade smile.

He was loss in words, only shaking his head in disbelief.

"And now that I've been together with you for years, I think relationship is not about completing each other's missing pieces. Relationship requires two strong people to go through all the hardships and obstacles. You know what? I think we both are good. Tae, you're the strongest person I've ever met. I admire you a lot, and honestly, feeling slightly jealous. You even dated someone who made your childhood a living hell," Chaerin explained, smiling sadly as the memories of their past replayed in her head. She brought her legs up and curled her arms around it. Even though she was smiling, her thoughts were still messed up. She kept blaming herself for not taking care of Taehyung well.

Taehyung on the other side, also kept hating himself to even thought about committing suicide. He felt like heavens above had given abundant blessings for him to be able to breathe another second, for having a wonderful girlfriend.

He was never the best to express himself through words ― he always expressed it by doing actions, so all he did was giving a warm hug for Chaerin which she gladly returned. Both were grateful to have each other's presence for another minute.

'Thank you so much for saving me. I hope this moment would freeze, so that I could always be in your embrace.' They both spoke inside of their fragile heart, letting the warmth of their bodies fused, greeting another minute with a grateful feeling.

a/n; wow i tortured myself