nepenthe // p.jisung

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The first day back to school after an eventful break. The whole day, Jisung got lost in his head. He thought about what he was going to do when he got home. Everytime it ended with the thought of him meeting up with Akina, and the two of them visiting the creek together.

"Why are you smiling like an idiot?" Chenle asked Jisung, starting to laugh.

Jisung looked up at his friend. He had his chin rested on his arm as he rolled a pencil around on his desk. "What?"

"All class, you've been sitting there, like that, smiling."

"Oh," is all Jisung replied with. He sat up straighter, looking at the board. Notes were scribbled all along it, going over their next math lesson. "We took notes today?" Jisung asked Chenle.

Chenle gave Jisung a confused look. "Yeah? I thought you weren't taking them on purpose."

Jisung buried his face in his hands. "Can you send me a picture of them later?"

"Why are you so distracted?" Chenle closed his books, looking worried for his friend.

Jisung sighed. "Nothing."

The bell rang, telling them to go to their next class. It was last period, so Jisung headed to study hall. He usually stayed in the room during the period, but there was the option to go to the library. Jisung quickly signed his name for a spot, then left.

Before opening the doors to the library, he peeked into the room from the window on the door. It was easy to spot Akina, especially with the red sweater she was wearing.

Ever since he's met Akina, colors are something he appreciates more. Same with other little things, but one stood out the most: red. It's the loudest color to Jisung. It calls out his name. It wasn't that special to him, until that day at the festival.

Jisung pushed open the door, walking her way. Akina pulled a cart behind her to put books back where they belonged. She had her earbuds in, blocking out the world around her.

Jisung got closer, but didn't know how to get her attention. He slowed his pace, thinking of how to start a conversation. If only I could come up with things as easily as she could, or as Haechan could, Jisung thought.

Jisung reached out and tapped her shoulder. When Akina turned around and noticed him there, her face lit up with pure joy.

"Jisung," Akina greeted with a nod and smile.

"I'm glad you're here."

Akina cocked her head. "Me too. I missed a lot of school the weeks before fall break. I guess I'm just feeling better overall. Happy, too."

"Were you sick?" Jisung asked.

Akina opened her mouth, then closed it. She sighed, placing the book in her hands on the cart. "Yes, and I still am." Her eyes clouded with something, but it was murky, like a pond when the bottom has been disturbed. "But it isn't a kind of sickness that you're probably thinking."

Jisung's eyes shifted between Akina's, trying to figure out what she meant.

"This isn't the place to talk about it," she whispered, gently. "We'll talk later. By the creek." Akina wrapped up her words in a smile before continuing to put books back where they belonged.

But Jisung saw; he saw that the smile wasn't real.

The bell rang, and Jisung hurried out of the study hall room. Taeyong was at his locker, waiting for Jisung to meet up with him.

"How was your first day back?" Tae asked Jisung.

Jisung shrugged a response.

The car ride was silent for the first few moments. Jisung had his head rested against the window as he watched the world pass. It's funny how things that are far away, seem to pass so slow, but the things close to you fly by.

Jisung almost smiled at the thought. It made him think of something Akina would say.

"What are you thinking about?" Taeyong asked, glancing at his dongsaeng.

Jisung didn't move, or answer the question. Instead, he responded with another question. "Hyung, what's your favorite word?"

There was silence for the first second. Then, Taeyong let out a laugh. "I don't know, Ji. I guess 'ethereal' is a good one. Extremely delicate and light. Something that almost seems too beautiful for this world."

Taeyong's answer reminded him of the words Akina talked about. And ethereal; what a perfect word for Akina. She was ethereal, maybe even the living definition of it.

The car had finally reached the destination of their house. Jisung quickly threw his bag into the house, landing it on the couch.

Jisung's feet carried him towards the bridge. He rushed, hoping that Akina wasn't waiting for him.

"Jisung!"

He turned around and Akina was there, walking not far behind him.

"You're in such a hurry," she laughed. "Excited to see me?"

Jisung let out a chuckled. "It's been a long day. I've just been wanting to talk."

"Well, you came to the right place."

Jisung nodded, turning around to continue to the creek. "You mentioned something about talking to me about your sickness?"

Akina bit her lip and looked down at the passing road beneath her feet. "Right." She seemed to be collecting her thoughts before speaking. "Jisung, I can trust you, I feel it, but promise me that you won't go and tell other people about this, okay?"

"Of course, I won't."

Akina drew in a nice long breath. "I have a sickness. It's one that develops over time. It's painful, and not easy to fight."

Jisung held his breath, hoping it wasn't what he thought it was.

"I have depression, JiJi," Akina finally said. "My parents wanted me to start taking therapy after they figure out the battle scares I got from trying to fight it, and failed."

Akina pulled back the long sleeves she wore. Thin, red dashes lined her arm. Jisung pulled back from shock, his heart racing. He looked into Akina's marbled eyes. She quickly pushed her sleeves down, looking guilty. Akina stood there, rubbing her arm where the scars were.

The world is so cruel to make someone as beautiful as Akina want to harm herself. Jisung never wanted to hug someone more in his life. So, he did.

Akina gladly took it, leaning her head into Jisung's shoulder. Her arms snaked under Jisung's and around his waist. Jisung gingerly held her close, hoping to take away all the sadness, all the harm, from her life. That's when he realized, even if he hadn't known her for that long...

He would take it all for Akina.