Keep Me Safe

All of Him

I placed my legs underneath me and faced him while he put his arm over the couch and leaned towards me looking anxious. I didn't try to hide my smirk and he took a deep breath trying to ready himself for the pending interrogation.

"Ladies first." He gestured towards me, ever the gentleman. I bit my lower lip deciding on whether or not to go easy on him, almost instantly deciding against the easy route. This was it. This was my chance to potentially get out of the vicious cycle that we are in. While I've said to Wanda and Nat I am fine with being friends with him and nothing more, I'm not. I needed him...all of him.

My cheeks heated and while I fought to not look away he sensed it and he smiled knowing that I was getting flustered. " Go ahead. Go for the jugular. I said I'll answer whatever you'd like. Just do the same for me."  I nodded.

"Have you ever had a lover." He bit his lip and looked down at his thighs. "I know you come from a different time and you were...are...were a ladies man. But ...." I stumbled over my words and I saw his eyes find mine while his head was still down, looking up through his lashes. His hair hung down around his face low and he hid most of his features. I fought to keep my breath steady.

" Yes....I have had a few. Although it was the better half of a century ago." He chuckled to himself and blushed. "And I wouldn't necessarily call them lovers per se. They were more like hookups..as you kids call them these days. I've heard it's like riding a bike though." I giggled a bit which helped to hide the jealousy that was seeping out of my drug filled pores. "And you Y/N?" You looked at his blue orbs. "Is that your question Bucky?" He nodded.

"I've had one. Although we were only together a few times before he left me for someone else." I shook my head at the memory. " I wasn't the one he wanted after all. " He raised his calloused hand to my cheek and I leaned into it and sighed. "Fool. He didn't deserve you and what you gave him." I shrugged not worried about the single past lover when the only man I love and have ever truly loved it in front of me. So close and yet still out of my reach. I took his head and threaded our fingers together needing something to bring me back to him.

"What was the scariest moment since you left Winter behind?" He rested his hand on my thigh after it left my cheek and put his words together. " You know I promised honesty, and that I will give you. But don't ask questions that you ....that may ruin what we have right now." I leaned in closer and his scent was intoxicating. I could feel his shallow breathes hitched at the proximity of me and I was hoping that the effect wasn't my imagination. " Wanting more isn't ruining anything." He closed his eyes and his eyebrows were stitched together. Instinctively I put my thumb to the crease between his brows and he half smirked at the gesture. "Relax. It's just me James." He looked at me and put our foreheads together. "I love when you same my name. You make me feel like I'm someone new." I gave him a smile which he quickly returned. He paused before he decided how to answer the question to which he had delayed.

" When I saw those Hydra agents take you.. I thought -that was it. You were gone. You were leaving me. They were taking another thing that I hold dear to me. You have become my center without me realizing it. You don't treat me like any single person or single version of myself. Not like James Buchanan Barnes, Sergeant Barnes. Bucky Barnes, The Winter Soldier. Just this." He gestures to himself.