lost in translation || BTS

Most beautiful.

"I want to post this video somewhere, this is so beautiful", Jimin squealed and I turned to find everyone recording Namjoon confessing like that and me ending with asking him out.

"Jimin, shut up", Yoongi said, surprisingly he was recording it too. "Pussy, say yes", he said and kicked Namjoon from the back.

"Are you sure? I wouldn't want to come in between you and Ta-"

That's it!

I rushed towards him, grabbing his face with my hands lightly, but kissing him harshly and greedily. Part of me wanted that kiss because I missed Taehyung's lips. But most of me wanted to ensure Namjoon that he's not coming in between us.

It was confusing, yes, but I think I'll be okay.

"What the fuck?"
Please, let me be okay.

We both pulled away and all of us turned to look at Taehyung. His sleepy form stood stiff at the entrance, his eyes wide and expression surprised.

"Taehyung, I can explain." Namjoon spoke, me not leaving his arm all the while.
"Are you for serious, Nia? You were snuggling into me just this morning." He shouted back at me, and I flinched when he stormed towards us.

"Taehyung, I know you're hurt bu-" Taehyung cut Namjoon off by clicking his tongue. "I'm not hurt. I couldn't be. I don't love her anymore, Hyung. She knows it too."

Namjoon turned to look at me in surprise and I shook my head yes before looking for down at our intertwined fingers which were loosening up.

"I'm only worrying about you. Worried that she'll play with your earnest feelings."
Taehyung crouched down beside Namjoon, as he pulled his arm out of mine. I was taken aback, but I allowed them to have their conversation. I simply wiggled back a little to give them space and looked back at the boys who were too shook to stop recording.

"Hyung, are you sure about her?"

"I'm right here." I said, waving my arm and smiling at him mockingly.

"Yes. She's right here. By my side, and I'm sure she won't leave me."

I felt the need to cry at how Namjoon was handling everything. Under that much pressure, I would've broken. Honestly, if I was in the place of Namjoon, I wouldn't have even thought of dating me. On top of that, confess my feelings in such a poetic way. Never.

But he did.
He was rejected, but he did.
I asked him to leave, but he did.
I practically used him, but he did.

I felt myself cracking now. I hadn't cried when Ma beat me. I hadn't cried when Taehyung hugged me. I hadn't cried when my body ached.

"Omg, Nia, why are you crying?"
"She's crying?"
"You're crying?"

"Are you hurt? Where does it hurt?"
"Is it because I threw that pillow? I'm so sorry Nia."

"I didn't mean to be rude, I was only trying to protect my brother." Taehyung said, and I stopped at that. Slowly, I got quieter and the panic that filled the air reduced at that.

"Why did you cry? Does it hurt?" Namjoon softly spoke. Stroking the back of my hand while everyone crowded around us. "Can we talk alone?" I asked in a hushed tone and he quickly nodded. We walked to his room hand in hand, as he kept looking down at me to see if I was crying.

When we reached the room, he shut the door behind us and I locked it. He was slightly surprised at my actions but then he eased into it, when I asked him to turn around. He assumed that I was going to change and that's why I locked the door. But I wanted to do something else. I took a bra out of my bag and wore it after a brief struggle.

"You can turn around now", I said, as he looked back and got surprised at the image of me only in my unattractive-comfortable undergarments. "W-what're you do-doing?" he asked, before I signalled him to come closer. His wide, shook eyes quickly softened at the vision of my bare skin.

Without hesitation, he traced his fingers over my ribs. My skin shivering at his cold touch and my mind getting dizzy already. He fingers caressed every scar and every bruise painted on my dark skin, as I turned around slowly so that he could explore my worse back.

He gasped a little, probably at how bad it must've looked. Suddenly, I felt soft kisses being planted on my back, over places that usually hurt, but now seemed to be at ease.

He stroked my back very lightly and softly with the tip of his fingers as I found myself becoming sleepy. Yet again.

"I'm probably not as beautiful as before. I won't be confident wearing shorts or dresses, or even sleeveless shirts. Sorry I'm not the woman you started liking in the first place. All you have now is simply broken pieces of who I was."

He turned me around slowly to face him, and kissed my swollen, shut eyes.

"Gold never breaks. And even if does, we can always mend it back."

My heart felt so heavy yet light at his words. My emotions were outrageous, yet my mind was calm. I felt everything at that moment. Everything came to me like waves of the ocean hitting my body, trying to drag me with it. It was overwhelming. But he held me.

He didn't let me get dragged away.
He held me.

I hugged him tightly, igniting the killing pain that bolted through my body. My tears uncontrollably escaping on his tshirt as he constantly stroked the back of my head.

"Cry all you want, peach. My shirt is right here to wipe your nose."
I chuckled and sniffled. In my mind I kept thinking how similar Taehyung and Namjoon were, yet the way they approach their ideologies varied so drastically that it made them completely different from each other.

"Joon...."
"Yes peach?"

I pulled my face away to meet his eyes. He cupped my cheeks and wiped my tears away with both his thumbs. After placing a small kiss on my forehead, his eyes met mine again.

"When did you start liking me?"
"I mean we were all trying to score you, except Yoongi and Jin."

I smacked his arm, but ended up hurting my own wrist. He took my hand in his and kissed it softly, chuckling all the while.

"But I think I stared liking you when I saw you playing with Hoseok in the pool. It was the first time I wasn't admiring my boys being genuinely happy. Usually when we have fun I cannot stop looking at the six of them. But that day, I just couldn't take my eyes off of you."

"Because I was a in a bikini?" I asked suggestively and chuckled.
"No, because...urgh how do I explain it?"
"You don't have to, I ge-"
"No! I have to!"

"Okay go ahead, rude." He laughed and so did I. The mood was way lighter, and it felt nice to have the steam off.

"You looked like you were having the time of your life. And I felt that I wanted to have that happiness too. And to have that, I would need you in my life. That's all."

I kissed him. Out of nowhere, without warning, I kissed him.

He flinched a little at first, but soon went with the flow. He hands slid down to rest above my waist and slowly stroked my skin. My hands wrapped around his neck and my chest was against his. Our lips were merely kissing, no sucking, no biting or licking.

Only kissing.

And it felt more intimate than anything I'd ever imagined. It felt as if I was being reborn. I was being pulled out of my misery and bathed in the sunlight that my bruised skin was awaiting. Like I was showering after days of being dirty. Like I finally found air cue almost drowning.

"Joon....."
"Yes, peach?"

"I think I love you."

—
Don't fight me on this, I love ending chapters with these lines.